Saturday, January 31, 2009

Wisconsin 101: Seriously, what is wrong with these people?

I promise I am not making this up. I found this site because an ad from the magazine at the vet's office promised they offered "canine massage."

Just one thing: if I am not going to pay to get a massage for myself, I am sure not going to pay for one for a dog.

Another thing. Isn't that called "petting?"

This is what the store offers:
Welcome to Petlicious® Dog Biscuit Bakery and Pet Spa, where we make healthy and all natural treats for dogs, cats and horses. We do not use extra salt, sugar, dyes or preservatives in our treats. We use only human consumable ingredients such as certified organic whole wheat, rye and oat flour, wheat germ, whole eggs, cheese, fresh pureed vegetables, fresh ground peanuts, barbecue sauce, and carob (a pet friendly alternative to chocolate). We also have a special treat for allergy sensitive pets made from brown rice, potato, or oat flour.
SH said, "That sounds like something White People do." Enough said.

Next issue. It's almost kitten season. SH and I need to find some cats. The cat rescue website has an online application. They ask, "If your pet were to become ill or injured what would you do?"

That's easy. Take it to the vet.

Next question: "What if treatment is expensive?"

Also easy. We set a limit in advance of how much we are willing to pay. But I can assure you that I am not willing to pay thousands or even hundreds of dollars on medical care for a pet. They'll probably disqualify us as not sufficiently committed.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

You're an idiot. Massage is NOT the same as petting. Do yourself and your dog a favor, get a massage for both of you. It might open your amazingly closed mind just a wee bit...

MrScribbler said...

Wooohooo! Doggy massage is almost certainly the province of pale white people!

A friend feeds her cats "health" food, preferably organic. She was shocked when I suggested the kitties might still forage for various defunct animals to munch on while outside. I told her cats -- and dogs -- like junk food, too!

John0 Juanderlust said...

Anonymous must be a dog who was abandoned at the city dump for biting the kids. Some dogs don't get good wit and humor---too busy snarling and carrying placards.
Being a pet psychic, I've found that cats and dogs both do well with a little spinal and muscle massage. Really. Unless I know and like the animal, I charge plenty.
If the bill is too high, someone else will pay it. Like maybe the glue factory.

Benita said...

I'd never buy my dog a massage; seeing how I've never bought one for myself! :)

MeanMommyDoc said...

I buy massages for myself, and I'd STILL never buy one for a dog or a cat, and I would not spend thousands of dollars on my beloved feline. She is an animal, and I draw the line there. I guess I'm an idiot too.... a happy, well-adjusted, fiscally responsible cat-loving idiot.

John0 Juanderlust said...

It's so tempting to say, "But animals are people, too!!!". Only problem is, someone would think I meant it.

Melissa said...

OK, I don't think that's a Wisconsin thing. We're a great state and all, but usually ideas that strange start somewhere else and then someone tries it here. We're too busy cow tipping and having one reason or another to have a fest (Summerfest, Kornfest, Oktoberfest, etc.) ;)

For the record, I would never pay to have my dog "massaged." I love him, but wow. That's weird.

Only had a massage myself 3-4 times, and the one person ended up giving me a sore neck that lasted 2 days. So much for relaxation.