Saturday, February 21, 2009

Marriage 101, Lecture 2: Afternoon delight

SH: Why did you use those eggs? [position B]

Me: Because they're the oldest.

SH: No, they're not.


Me: Yes, they are. I bought [position A] yesterday, so put those next to the milk. I always put the older eggs on top of the other carton [position C], but there wasn't room so I had to put them on a different shelf.

SH: But I moved the old eggs from [position B] to [position A] because it makes more sense to have the oldest eggs in the more obvious place.

Me: I didn't know you did that.

SH: Didn't you look at the cartons?

Me: No, why should I? I knew where I put them yesterday.

SH: But wouldn't you agree that the most logical way to store them is the way I just described?

Me: Yes, but I didn't know you had changed things.

SH: Why didn't you look?

Me: Because!

SH: You don't live alone now. You need to consider that someone else might re-arrange the refrigerator.


Me: Would you like to [indulge in intimate relations]?

SH: Sure.

Me: OK. Now? Because if you don't want to now, then I'm going to take a shower. Or else we can shovel the driveway now and go to the library, then I can take a shower and let my hair dry before church. I don't want to use the hairdryer because it fries my hair.

SH: You treat [intimate relations] like an engineering problem!

Me: You treat everything like an engineering problem, like the eggs! What would you have me say?

SH: How about, "My darling, I want you. I don't care what else I have to do today. That will work out. But you are the most important thing!"

Me: Would you believe me if I said that?

SH: No.

1 comment:

Richard in NY said...

We buy the 16 oz jugs of real maple syrup too, because there's just no substitute, but they sure have gotten expensive.