Marriage 101, Lecture 329: For better or worse or cats, part 3

Y'all, I promise, I am not going to become one of those annoying cat ladies who bills and coos about her cats and posts a gajillion photos about them and talks about them incessantly and thinks they are the children she never had and baby talks to them and makes play by play commentary about them -- "Oh, look, she's licking her paws she's eating she's purring oh how cute she's playing with that crumpled up ball of tinfoil come here sweetie come here baby don't you want to eat aren't you hungry?" and cocks her head to the side and sighs contentedly every 15 seconds while she is watching "Antwone Fisher" even though DENZEL is on the screen and gets upset if the other person raises her voice because it might scare the cats who are about the most laid-back, mellow cats you would ever want to meet and would probably sleep through a tornado and wants to put a night light in the basement by the litter box even though cats can see in the dark.

No. I promise, I am not going to become that person.

I don't need to.

That role has already been filled in our house by my husband, the just the facts, ma'am engineer who never wants to hear about the weird people on Jerry Springer or in Miss Manners or at the gym because he is just not interested in the Human Condition but he sure is interested in the Cat Condition, apparently. He doesn't bill and coo over me, but those cats get sugah.


This photo, which I am posting because of unending demand in the comments, is one of about 400 he has taken so far. It's not great, but it's hard to get a good photo with this camera because of the lag time between pressing the button and the actual taking of the picture. Flash doesn't help, but they're indoor cats and the light isn't good yet. Once the cats see him (he's their favorite -- go figure -- I'm the meany who was there when they were put into The Box and transported 50 miles, he's the one who protects them by keeping me from doing things like CLOSING DOORS or RAISING MY VOICE) they run to him and roll their eyes at me and fart.


Mr Scribbler noted that the cats could be fuzzy slippers. Perhaps they could also be the Fluffy Socks.