Sunday, April 26, 2009

Marriage 101, Lecture 734: Opposites attract but could cause murder

SH and I do not share opinions on many things except that we both like chocolate, we both think Scarlett Johannesson and Kate Winslet are not fat and even if they were, so what?, and we have fabulous friends. Places we differ are politics, religion, how to squeeze the toothpaste and what time to go to bed.

You know. The little things.

Some more photos from posts that were lost in the great journalspace purge of ought eight. This guy is a water seller in Fez. SH and I saw him when we visited Steve and Megan in Morocco in 2006.

Another place we differ is in how we organize. I, the English major and hence illogical and incapable of understanding how to optimize a process, look at a project, figure out the critical path and the bottlenecks, and do the bottlenecks first.

The Engineer looks at a project, such as getting ready to go to a play or catch a flight, figures out the critical path and the bottlenecks, and then leaves the bottlenecks until the last.

The tannery in Fez.

For example, if I need to catch a plane in six hours ("T"), I take a shower at T-six hours, pack at T-five and a half hours, and then goof off on the internet or clean the bathroom or watch "What Not To Wear" and wonder how I can be on the show even though I never go anywhere that requires decent clothing until T-100 minutes, at which point I leave for the airport, which is 27 minutes away including parking and walking in as long as there is no traffic or it isn't snowing* so of course I allow extra time.

If SH has to catch a plane in six hours ("T"), he works on the computer and reads until T-92 minutes, then packs, then plays with the cats, then jumps into the shower and shaves at T-68 minutes, so it's already when he should have been at the airport by the time he is dressed, thus leaving him negative minutes to get to there, which is fine as long as I am not with him because I don't care if he misses a plane** that I am not also boarding with him.

Donkeys are called "medina taxis" in Morocco.

If, however, I am with him, I am sick with worry that we will be late and 1) will miss the plane or 2) arrive late to the play and they won't seat us or 3) miss the beginning of the movie*** or 4) there will be no more food left at the church potluck. It hasn't happened yet, but we are due and when it happens, I will definitely want to say, "I told you so," except the problem with "I told you so" is that you can't say it when it really applies unless you want to kill your relationship.

But he will know.

An orange seller in Fez.

* It is very rare that it isn't snowing here, so I usually need more time

** I especially don't care if he misses a plane that is taking him to a place five hours from here where he will be cleaning out a garage and doing plumbing because in this place, there are no people who do this sort of thing for money.

*** This is a theoretical problem these days as we get our movies from the library for free rather than paying to watch them in a theater where they don't stop the show every time you need to pee or you want more Jordan almonds or when the cat throws up and you don't want to leave the mess until later.


Holly said...

Wow, it's like you are describing me and Kevin! We drive each other crazy on this front.
I also wonder how I can get on What Not to Wear (I've seen every episode about 6 times and even met one of the fashion victims at a party), but I am far to stylish already, they would never take me. They probably wouldn't take you either, not with all those great shoes you have.

class-factotum said...

Holly, I do have some nice shoes.

I just never wear them.