Monday, May 04, 2009

Fashion 101

Dear woman at the lecture on Great Lakes shipwrecks at the Milwaukee Public Museum the other night,

Honey, I know I'm not exactly the right person to be dispensing fashion advice and I'm just as tired of wearing warm winter boots as you are, but really, if it's cold enough to wear a big thick sweater, it's also cold enough to wear shoes. Really. Heavy sweaters and thin, strappy sandals just Do Not Go Together. It's in The Rules. Cute sandals, but don't do it.

I won't even address the slouching in the seat and throwing your feet up over the seat in front of you. Maybe you think everyone wants to see your feet.

We don't.

And we don't want them on the place where we put our head or rest our arms.

Some things can't be fixed at your age, including bad manners. I won't assume your mother didn't try to teach you the right thing, either, because my mother told me over and over not to

1. cut my own hair
2. wash my reds and my whites together
3. put tap water in the iron

and I didn't believe her until I did them all and found out she was right. I still don't believe her on Number One.

Sincerely,

The woman sitting behind you eating the rugelach and getting ticked off that the A/V person wasn't paying attention and keeping the screen saver from bouncing around on the big screen behind the speaker

1 comment:

LPC said...

Strappy sandals.
Lecture on shipwreck.
Rugelach.
Somehow sounds like Alice in the Looking Glass....