Tuesday, May 05, 2009

I am not your friend

I just got a friend request from someone I sort of knew in college. I had to check with SH* and with another friend (one of the friends we have in common, according to Facebook) to see if "Melinda" was indeed who I thought she was.

She was. We had some friends in common, so she knew who I was, but we weren't in real life friends. When I said "hello" to her, she ignored me.

You could say that maybe she was nearsighted and couldn't see me greet her, but that would not be true, because I was the nearsighted one who was too vain to wear my glasses (maybe that explains the "D" in calculus?) and if I was close enough to actually recognize someone, then for darn sure, that person could see me. Melinda lost a lot of weight after freshman year and became cute and had no use for the not so cute girls like me and just didn't want me to cramp her style is my theory.

Anyhow, I have not spent a lot of time dwelling on Melinda in the past 25 years. Yes, I will carry a grudge -- I have strong arms -- but this is certainly not grudgeworthy.

At the same time, I am not going to friend someone who is NOT MY FRIEND.

Although really, she is not interested in friendship. I looked at her profile. What she is interested in is networking and hey, I am totally cool with that. I am all about introducing people and making job matches. I will pass along resumes like nobody's business. I am shameless. At least two friends have the careers they have because I made their initial introductions. They got the jobs because they were so fabulous, but I matched them to the people who hired them. I am kinda good at that sort of thing.

But I am not interested in networking with someone who is not my friend, or who, at the least, won't even do me the courtesy of sending me a message with the friend request and saying, "Hey! Remember me! The one ignored you 27 years ago? Yeah. About that. Sorry. :) I was 17 and hormonal. Can I buy you a beer at the reunion next year?"**

* "I duuno. Sam and the other guys in the college thought she was OK." Yeah. Because she's one of those women whom men like and women don't and she likes that just fine.

** And yes I made a point of finding Kelly R at my 20-year high school reunion to apologize for being mean to her in ninth and tenth grade after first being her friend. True, I was led astray by Sally D, but that is no excuse. I was her friend and then I turned on her and that was wrong. It weighed on my conscience for years.

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