Friday, May 15, 2009

In the bag

Do you guys have to fight with the bag boy (I should say, "Bag senior citizen," which actually makes it worse, because this guy was old enough to know better) over how your groceries are packed? I use cloth bags. I have used them for years, way before they were fashionable. Not because I care about The Environment but because they are easier to carry and you can pack a lot of stuff in them. I also like not having a bunch of plastic bags under my sink. My husband, the big Liberal Environmentalist It's The Right Thing To Do Guy, does not mind having plastic bags under the sink. What if we need them some day? And yet he is the Noble One Who Cares.

Anyhow. I use the cloth bags but get no credit for it because I'm not doing it for the right reason. I don't think the person who drives the car with the bumper sticker that says, "Plastic bags blow" (and then some other stuff in small print underneath that I didn't bother to read because who can read when she is rolling her eyes?) would give me credit for using cloth bags because I Don't Care. Honestly. Who is into plastic bags enough that she puts a bumper sticker about it on her car? And if she cares that much, why isn't she riding a bike?

Back to the grocery store. When I put my groceries on the belt, I place them in the order I want them packed. I would prefer to pack them myself because I know how I want it done and the bag boy usually does it wrong, but whaddyagonnado? So I usually settle for kibbutzing. But how hard is it to PUT THE NINE-POUND GALLON OF MILK in before the corn chips, the chocolate chip kringle and the two half-pint containers of cream? Isn't it obvious that the biggest, heaviest item should go in first? Even if I hadn't put the milk at the head of the line, shouldn't the bag man have figured that out?

But instead of packing that first, he pushed it away and put the cream in the bag.

And then the fragile lemon bar I got for SH from the bakery -- in one of those #5 plastic containers that probably would not do well to be crushed by the four-pound bag of sugar. Then he put in the four ears of corn.

That's when I couldn't take it any more and pushed the milk to him. "This will fit in the bag." I mean really. What was his plan? To put the milk in last? To put it in its own bag while the cloth bag remained more than half empty? Do I look so fragile and dainty that I cannot carry kringle, corn, cream, sugar, a lemon bar, chips AND milk with one hand?

Uh. No. I really do not. I come from farm stock, people. I positively do not look fragile. May I remind you that I have just dug up a 12' x 19' patch of yard and prepared it for a garden (as in, mixing in six bags of manure, two bags of peat moss, and two bags of sand) with nothing more than a shovel and a hoe that barely worked?

Do they not think I can carry my own groceries? Good grief.


Ptolemy said...

It's my experience that baggers are determined to NEVER put the milk in a bag AT ALL. You apparently are supposed to want to carry it separately. We own a gagillion bags and bring them to the store (for your reasons AND for the liberal ones!). There are PLENTY. Put the milk in a bag, already -- then we have handles with which to carry it! ARGH!

class-factotum said...

Exactly! I don't want to commit one entire hand to just the milk!

TosaGuy said...

My girlfriend at the time brought me along to her friend's house for dinner -- some fashionable east siders. When I walked in they were discussing the carbon footprint of the wine they were about to serve in the respect that both were imported from Chile and France. It didn't seem to occur to them that both contributed to their preceived problem. After introductions, we were then given the grand house tour and they pointed out all the expensive, imported luxury items (italian granite countertops) throughout the house. Very nice people, but quite daft at times.