Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Kill the rabbit, part 2

Laverne has been converted from a yard whiner to a potential killer of rabbits. After SH and I put up the rabbit fence yesterday, two rabbits came back to hang out and gripe about the injustice of being shut out of my garden with its fresh pea shoots emerging from the expensive (manure, peat moss, sand) dirt. Laverne crouched in the kitchen window watching them, her tail whipping back and forth as she made that funny clicking sounds cats make when they want to attack.

Laverne the Huntress waits for a rabbit to dare to move into her territory.

"Do you want to kill those rabbits?" I asked her, only she didn't understand because she doesn't speak English, being a Siamese and all. So I just pulled her out of the window and took her outside, which always makes her whine because she wants to be free! free of her bonds! But then if I let her go free, she is scared! oh this is so scary! it's all so big out here!

Laverne is quite conflicted. Perhaps she needs a cat psychiatrist.

She kept turning back to me and I had to keep turning her around and pointing her to the rabbits, who were pretty darn confident, considering they were in the presence of not one but two traditional rabbit predators, but maybe they have connections on the Wauwatosa City Council and know that cats aren't supposed to go around unlicensed and unleashed and that humans aren't allowed to shoot at them.

Shirley hunts produce.

Little do they know that I don't care about no steenkin' badges.

Finally, Laverne saw the rabbits and did what she was supposed to do, which was chase them. She took off running faster than I have ever seen her go. She disappeared around the corner of the garage. I ran after her, but didn't see her.

Oh great. She's three blocks gone now and SH is going to blame me for losing the cat, who was probably at this moment being eaten by the non-existent pit bulls that SH is sure are going to be the cause of death for our pets if they step one foot outside the door without a leash.

When Shirley is not hunting produce, which is MOST OF THE TIME, she is hanging out with her bud Death.

I walked back around to the front of the garage and called her. I heard her crying and there she was at the back door, begging to be let inside, clawing at the door, trying to open it. She was a little traumatized by her adventure (oh no! she was Out of My Sight!), but at least she had made the effort. I was very proud.

She ran right back to the window and darned if the rabbits didn't return. So I grabbed her and took her outside again and this time there was no crying. Instead, she jumped out of my arms and chased the rabbits right out of the yard, then sauntered back to me with her, "Oh yeah. I'm tough. I'm Da Bomb." swagger.

SH heard me cooing praise to Laverne and asked what on earth I was going to do if she actually caught one. "Throw it in the trash," I said. "I want our yard to get a reputation as a Yard of Death."


Anonymous said...

And I always thought you were after yard of the month! Now, the truth is out.

Did you ever read Watership Down?

class-factotum said...

Can't I have both?

No, I haven't. Should I?