Saturday, May 30, 2009

Marriage 101, Lecture 229: Going to the liquor store

Please note that we already have over 300 bottles of wine in our basement and a bunch of beer, not as much as the wine because I think age doesn't improve beer so much, and that after SH's plane crashes and the cats and all his unopened boxes go, the wine is next on the list. No, I don't care for wine. Yes, I understand that it enhances food. I don't care. I appreciate that some people appreciate it. I do not. I don't care about alcohol. Never have. If I am going to consume recreational calories, they are going to be in the form of butter or chocolate. I don't care if other people drink. I just don't want to.

Photobucket
What's wrong with ordinary beer? If it gets guys to do household chores, it's working, isn't it?

SH: What kind of beer are we supposed to get for Todd&Andrea's friend [who is fixing our bikes for free except for some beer]?

Me: Something about an hour or an hour and a half. [not really] His wife said 60 and 90, whatever the heck that means.

SH: Yeah, I know what that is.

Me: You would.

SH: Here it is: Dogfish [I think] IPA.

Then some beer guy walks up and he and SH start beer talk.

Beer guy: Have you tried the 120 minute?

SH: No. It's seven dollars a bottle.

BG: Well, it's 400% alcohol.

SH: Yeah, that's a lot.

BG: Look at this stuff: it's the latest blah blah blah in beer.

SH: Cool!

BG: Yeah, it's super hoppy. It's made by Luxembourgian monks who had got to first base once, then took a vow of celibacy. Now this beer is not so hoppy. It's more something something that the beer snobs love because it's super biodynamic because it's made from natural yeast out in the fields.

SH: Coolness.

BG: And this one? Made by Albanian virgins.

SH: Hmmm.

BG: Albino.

SH: Albino Albanians?

BG: Yep. With Asperger's.

SH: I want some.

Photo source: http://www.gono.com/beermagazineads/schlitzbeer/s2.jpg

4 comments:

Elizabeth said...

Would you give a friend a Hershey's bar for her birthday? :P

class-factotum said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
class-factotum said...

Yum. Chocolate.

Hershey's is making some good chocolate these days! But OK -- Hershey's is an everyday chocolate, just as some beers are every day beers. :)

Elizabeth said...

I always say I can respect no man who isn't equally comfortable in a 4 star restaurant and Denny's.