Eric Holder on waterboarding, via NationalReview.com (thanks to Maggie's Farm):
Lungren: So if the intent was to solicit information but not do permanent harm, how is that torture?
Holder: Well, it… uh… it… one has to look at... ah… it comes out to question of fact as one is determining the intention of the person who is administering the waterboarding. When the Communist Chinese did it, when the Japanese did it, when they did it in the Spanish Inquisition we knew then that was not a training exercise they were engaging in.
Torquemada: Team, we're just not getting the results we need. The Boss is not happy. Look at these charts! Confessions are way down! 14% in January alone. I am not happy, not happy at all. We need to change how we are doing things.
Gomez: What about if we try waterboarding?
Torquemada: Gomez, you're an idiot. You think pretending to drown someone who has had his arms and legs dislocated will work?
Sanchez: What if we pulled the rack tighter?
Torquemada: Been there, done that, broken the ropes. Give me something else.
Ximenez: We could use -- soft cushions. And The Comfy Chair.
Torquemada: At last! Yes! That's brilliant! Anyone for a cafecito?