This is so sad. Look what I found on the sidewalk: a candy cigarette box. I thought this sort of thing didn't happen any more. Our youth! Being corrupted!
Not even one left for me.
This is the gateway drug, of course. Get a kid hooked on candy cigarettes when he's seven and he'll be smoking a pack of Marlboros a day by the time he's fifteen. Quelle dilemma. We need the smokers to pay those high cigarette taxes, pay higher life and health insurance rates and to die early so they don't claim their Social Security benefits, but they are so annoying to the non-smokers while they're alive. What if they want to, you know, smoke! while they're around the rest of us! I mean, how rude! How dare they exercise their rights to do something completely legal! And tax generating!
My sister (far fight) and I (second from right) smoked candy cigarettes (around a BABY!) when we were kids and look what happened to us. We moved quickly to regular cigarettes by the time we were ten, of course, and then to meth by high school. My dad also let us have a sip of his beer now and then, which meant we were on to a quart a day (each) of Jack Daniels by the time we were in high school. We had to prostitute ourselves for the money because my dad would have noticed if his liquor had gone missing.
What's interesting is that in college, it wasn't the kids whose parents completely denied them demon liquor or who were the screaming, fighting, lock themselves in the bathroom alcoholics who went crazy drinking but my siblings and I who got drunk every. single. night. Yep. Us, from a home where drinking was done in moderation, just an ordinary part of life, not to excess, just a beer or sangria now and then with hard liquor at parties or maybe on weekends, we were the ones to turn to binge drinking. And the candy cigarettes, our gateway candy to emphysema.