This is what happens when you buy the only pair of Bass sandals* on sale at DSW and they are just a little bit tight but that's OK because they are leathah and leather stretches, doesn't it? It's not going to be like when you and SH flew to Madrid the first time and you wore your cute high-heeled black boots on the plane because by golly, you were going to Show Them How It Was Done -- how to travel and not be a complete slob -- and SH said, Don't you want a change of clothes in my carryon in case our luggage is lost? And you said, Sha, my luggage has never been lost and then you get to Madrid and where is your cute Lands End pink suitcase that is so easy to spot and guess what? It's still in Detroit! And sure they'll deliver it to your hotel tomorrow* but what about between now and tomorrow and you think, How hard can this be? And then you realize that walking up and down the stairs in the subway and then on the cobbled Madrid streets in pursuit of churros y chocolate is wow, Not so much in the feet feeling good department and you vow never ever to make this mistake again but then you get the Bass sandals and wear them downtown with your mom and ouch, your metatarsals are screaming as they are being squeezed into submission, like a suburban foot binding only they started way too late because bones are pretty much set by the time you are 45, so you hobble to the Goodwill boutique and look desperately for shoes and thank goodness you find some Michael Kors moccasins that fit, are cute and are the right price so you can take off the Bass sandals but you still want those sandals so you put them on the rack.
* Bass sandals! You love Bass sandals and have not seen them since college, when you spent some of your hard-earned swimming teacher/lifeguard minimum wage earnings to get a pair. It is worth it to spend money on sandals in Texas because you will wear them six months of the year, although you have to carry a pair of socks to class with you because they air condition the heck out of the buildings in Houston.
** You think that's what they've said but you are so out of practice with your Spanish that you may have told them to donate the whole shebang to charity or maybe they said, Your bag is on its way to China and we darn sure don't know how that happened! But here's a toothbrush!