Wednesday, June 24, 2009


This is what happens when you buy the only pair of Bass sandals* on sale at DSW and they are just a little bit tight but that's OK because they are leathah and leather stretches, doesn't it? It's not going to be like when you and SH flew to Madrid the first time and you wore your cute high-heeled black boots on the plane because by golly, you were going to Show Them How It Was Done -- how to travel and not be a complete slob -- and SH said, Don't you want a change of clothes in my carryon in case our luggage is lost? And you said, Sha, my luggage has never been lost and then you get to Madrid and where is your cute Lands End pink suitcase that is so easy to spot and guess what? It's still in Detroit! And sure they'll deliver it to your hotel tomorrow* but what about between now and tomorrow and you think, How hard can this be? And then you realize that walking up and down the stairs in the subway and then on the cobbled Madrid streets in pursuit of churros y chocolate is wow, Not so much in the feet feeling good department and you vow never ever to make this mistake again but then you get the Bass sandals and wear them downtown with your mom and ouch, your metatarsals are screaming as they are being squeezed into submission, like a suburban foot binding only they started way too late because bones are pretty much set by the time you are 45, so you hobble to the Goodwill boutique and look desperately for shoes and thank goodness you find some Michael Kors moccasins that fit, are cute and are the right price so you can take off the Bass sandals but you still want those sandals so you put them on the rack.


* Bass sandals! You love Bass sandals and have not seen them since college, when you spent some of your hard-earned swimming teacher/lifeguard minimum wage earnings to get a pair. It is worth it to spend money on sandals in Texas because you will wear them six months of the year, although you have to carry a pair of socks to class with you because they air condition the heck out of the buildings in Houston.

** You think that's what they've said but you are so out of practice with your Spanish that you may have told them to donate the whole shebang to charity or maybe they said, Your bag is on its way to China and we darn sure don't know how that happened! But here's a toothbrush!


Maureen at IslandRoar said...

I remember coveting Bass sandals.
What we won't do for a great pair of shoes...

class-factotum said...

Oh Maureen. If only I could link to the Gomez saga. But journalspace, 4 years' of blogging, the tragedy.

Anyhow. Gomez is the Moroccan guy I met the first time I went to Morocco in Aug 2005 to visit my friends Steve and Megan. He was suave, sophisticated, very rich, and wanted me.

I was an idiot but oh well. I had just broken up with a really nice guy (Juanderlust) and had yet to meet SH. Gomez wanted to meet in Paris for a week, so I went. SH is still incredulous that I didn't make Gomez pay for the ticket but I was all, I'm an independent woman! I pay my own way. Well, that's fine but I should have remembered that In The South, The Man Pays.

I went to Paris and all we did was shop at The Gap, the Ferrari dealership and some swanky store where he bought a sport coat for $1,200, which is more than I paid for my first car. At lunch, he drank a bottle of wine (such a good Muslim) and then took a nap all afternoon. He didn't want to do anything fun! Oh, I was such an idiot.

The point of this story? The one night we went out to eat ("I don't like to eat out! I have to eat out all the time" which was true because he owned a hotel in Rabat) with some friends of his who although they spoke English, spoke French the entire evening which is kinda rude because my French, she is not so good, his friends offered to drop us off back at our apartment.

Oh no! Gomez said. Here (three blocks from apt. at traffic circle) is fine!

But my shoes, I protested.

Let us out here, Gomez insisted.

So I hobbled back to the apt in the shoes in this photo:

A few weeks later, I met SH and it was all over with Gomez.

Anonymous said...

you are an idiot