Sunday, June 28, 2009

Marriage 101, Lecture 620: The meaning of "is"

So if you come home from church and throw your purse into the house onto the stairs and then go back outside so you can water your tomatoes and see your neighbor outside and go to talk to her about the irises you are going to give to her and then your husband, who did not go to church, leaves the house with his friend Tom to go to Summerfest, steps over the purse, which is ON THE STAIRS, which is not its usual place, and Tom, who realizes that a purse does not live ON THE STAIRS, asks, "Is Class Factotum home? Does she have a key?" and then they get into the car, your husband backs out, sees you, and yells out the car window, "Do you have a key?" and you answer, "Yes," because of course you have a key IN YOUR PURSE, which of you is at fault when you turn out to be locked out of the house?

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NOT YOUR PURSE'S NORMAL RESIDENCE.

3 comments:

AKJ said...

This is quite the conundrum. He did ask you before he left so technically - not his fault. Although, He could have said, "Hey, I just locked up the house. Do you have your keys?" And then problem would have been adverted. I think the fault lies with him being an engineer and thus not relaying any additional or superfluous info - like house is locked and going straight to issue - do you have keys.

Maureen at IslandRoar said...

That sucks big time.
I hope you had a neighbor with a key...

class-factotum said...

Maureen, here is what happened.

1. Half a second after I answer "Yes," I realize what SH is really asking and yell, "Stop!" but he is already gone.

2. My neighbor Regina throws her mom's cellphone at me. I dial our home phone, which usually rolls over to SH's cellphone. (SH works from home.) He does not answer.

3. Regina says, "He might not answer a number with an out of town area code. She runs inside to get her phone. I call with her phone. No answer.

4. I try to remember SH's cellphone number. What is it? What is it? I dial a number. Wrong one. Transposed digit. I finally get the right number and get his voicemail. I leave a message.

5. I say, "Even if I can't get him, Anne [other neighbor] has a key and I just saw her in church. She should be walking home any second." Only she isn't coming home.

6. I call SH again and tell him to come home and let me in. He rolls his eyes (yes, I can hear it in his voice) but returns. I hear no end of grief from him.

7. Today I got three additional spare keys, one to leave with Regina, one to leave in the garage and one to have as a spare for company.