Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Chats du jour: Why I must keep my Milwaukee Roll

It's been an effort to keep my Milwaukee Roll since meeting SH because we both hate food so much. I've had to force myself to eat cheese and chocolate and frozen custard. Kopp's Chicken Buffalo sandwich. Fried cheese curds. Fried macaroni and cheese at the state fair. Pretzel rolls. Apple fritters. Rhubarb bars. Peanut-butter stuffed pretzels. Vietnamese sandwiches from Lee's in San Jose. Cuban sandwiches from the place in Tampa by the airport. You get the picture. Sheer hell.

I wanted a photo of her kneading, but she wouldn't cooperate. She was too happy being scratched behind the ears.

But I do it for the cat. It's all about Laverne. If I didn't have pudge around my middle, what would she knead? Really. If I had a six-pack, she would have no way to express her happiness! joy! oh I looooove you! keep feeding me! sentiments. Wikipedia says: Though cats will sit happily on a hard surface, they will only knead a soft or pliant surface....

I don't want a hard surface. It would be distressing for Laverne. Hence I must sacrifice. It's not like she has anywhere to knead on SH. Or skinny Shirley. I'm it.

Just to confound things, she insisted on curling up in my lap and purring, which she never does. Never. At least, not when I want her to. Her favorite time to sit on me and purr is 2 a.m. She has also been known to climb between me and my book and insist on attention, but again, that is part of the "I want you only when it is inconvenient for you" strategy.

I think she was trying to convince me to give her the evening snack in SH's absence. It's not enough for her that I clean her litter box, change her water, let her in and out of the house on demand and feed her twice a day? Now she has to have a snack? That's where I draw the line.

PS Yes, I am wearing a sweatshirt. In the middle of July. Why do you ask? Isn't that a normal summer thing?


Bohemiandoc said...

Oh, those are the best kitty moments, where they push their head into your rubbing, and they curl up into you, with their head twisted around and under. I love those moments. I miss my Lilah. She excels at those kitty tasks.
Also the horking up of hair. That, I don't miss so much when I'm on the road.

class-factotum said...

Doc, Laverne is pretty good at the Affectionate Kitty Responsibilities. Shirley is more aloof and better at Shedding and Throwing Up. I need to write their performance appraisals.