SH: You're trying to kill me with all this produce.
Me: You don't like the spinach salad with hot bacon* dressing?
If I really loved him, I'd feed him more fried food.
SH: Yeah, but I've already had a lot of produce today.
Me: Like what?
SH: I had that apple fritter this morning.
Me: That's pastry.
SH: Nope. It counts as a serving of fruit.
* That is, a bunch of melted bacon grease mixed with vinegar.