Saturday, July 11, 2009

Potty parity

Right before the Tom Jones concert at the Riverside Theater in Milwaukee. I need the ladies'. I run upstairs. The line snakes out the door. I go to the ladies' in the basement. Again, line ten deep. I spy a sign, "Handicapped restroom" and an arrow. I turn into the doorway indicated.

Security guard: Stop! You can't go in there.

I would have settled for this.

Me: Why not?

SG: You can't.

Me: I need to pee. There's a restroom right there.

SG: You're not handicapped.

Me: So what? It's an empty restroom.

SG: Step away from the door.

Me: You're telling me that four minutes before the concert with lines out the door that you are not going to let me use an EMPTY bathroom?

SG: You need to wait like everyone else. Step back or else I'm calling security.

Me: I don't care if everyone else uses it, too. This is stupid.


Anonymous Mother said...

Just goes to show that security guards are not necessarily selected from what floats at the top of the gene pool!

Apparently, NEITHER are middle-aged Tom Jones fans.

Anonymous Mother said...

This reminds me of the story Uncle Ron tells about having his nail clipper confiscated by airport "security" shortly after 9-1-1. He told them, "I'm the PILOT! I'm already in the cockpit. WHY WOULD I WANT TO HIJACK THE PLANE"???

(When was the last time you heard of anyone being nail-clippered to death?)