Potty parity

Right before the Tom Jones concert at the Riverside Theater in Milwaukee. I need the ladies'. I run upstairs. The line snakes out the door. I go to the ladies' in the basement. Again, line ten deep. I spy a sign, "Handicapped restroom" and an arrow. I turn into the doorway indicated.

Security guard: Stop! You can't go in there.


I would have settled for this.

Me: Why not?

SG: You can't.

Me: I need to pee. There's a restroom right there.

SG: You're not handicapped.

Me: So what? It's an empty restroom.

SG: Step away from the door.

Me: You're telling me that four minutes before the concert with lines out the door that you are not going to let me use an EMPTY bathroom?

SG: You need to wait like everyone else. Step back or else I'm calling security.

Me: I don't care if everyone else uses it, too. This is stupid.