Saturday, July 11, 2009

Potty parity

Right before the Tom Jones concert at the Riverside Theater in Milwaukee. I need the ladies'. I run upstairs. The line snakes out the door. I go to the ladies' in the basement. Again, line ten deep. I spy a sign, "Handicapped restroom" and an arrow. I turn into the doorway indicated.

Security guard: Stop! You can't go in there.

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I would have settled for this.

Me: Why not?

SG: You can't.

Me: I need to pee. There's a restroom right there.

SG: You're not handicapped.

Me: So what? It's an empty restroom.

SG: Step away from the door.

Me: You're telling me that four minutes before the concert with lines out the door that you are not going to let me use an EMPTY bathroom?

SG: You need to wait like everyone else. Step back or else I'm calling security.

Me: I don't care if everyone else uses it, too. This is stupid.

2 comments:

Anonymous Mother said...

Just goes to show that security guards are not necessarily selected from what floats at the top of the gene pool!

Apparently, NEITHER are middle-aged Tom Jones fans.

Anonymous Mother said...

This reminds me of the story Uncle Ron tells about having his nail clipper confiscated by airport "security" shortly after 9-1-1. He told them, "I'm the PILOT! I'm already in the cockpit. WHY WOULD I WANT TO HIJACK THE PLANE"???

(When was the last time you heard of anyone being nail-clippered to death?)