Wednesday, July 01, 2009


My one trip to Summerfest for the year. Now I can check it off the list.

On the way in. This is the Milwaukee Art Museum. We took our wedding photos here. It was cold that day, too. But I didn't mind that it was chilly last night because the only thing worse than being in a crowd of drunk, loud people is being in a crowd of sweaty, drunk, loud people.

They patted us down and searched us on the way in. As usual, I forgot to take my Swiss Army knife out of my purse, so hid it underneath a minipad*, figuring no man would touch that. I was touch-searched by a woman who was very careful to make sure I wasn't smuggling in a six-pack or a box of donuts under my sweater. No, honey, I wanted to tell her, that's just me and my Milwaukee Roll. What if there's a famine? I need to be prepared.

The woman behind me said to her friend, "I took care of the bourbon. I learned not to try to sneak it in." I thought, Yeah, you didn't need to tell me that. I smelled it on you ten feet ago.

After we bought half a roasted chicken and french fries, we made our way to the amphitheater for the $2 Earth Wind and Fire concert. Actually, it was the $2 Summerfest admission and SH had somehow gotten the combo admission/lawn seat tickets. SH had a beer and the ticket girl said with a perfectly straight face, "Sir, you can't take the beer in there." SH's jaw dropped and he said, "WHAT?!" "No, sir, no beer inside the amphitheater." I thought SH was going to have a stroke, but then the girl doubled over and started laughing and waved him in. No beer. In Wisconsin. Please. You can't smoke IN A BAR here, but no beer? Please.

When we arrived, EWF was performing with Chicago. They played three songs together, then Chicago left the stage.

This was the view to our right. Milwaukee is a really pretty city and if the weather weren't so crappy (55, rainy today), you couldn't keep people away. Oh. And the LOUSY GOVERNOR WHO JUST SIGNED A CRAPPY BUDGET. Don't move here, the taxes and the governance are awful. Yes, I know people get the government they deserve, but I just moved here so I didn't vote for this.

Once EWF started to play, all the white people got up to dance because there is nothing white people hate worse than for black people to think they aren't cool. I didn't get up because 1) I don't care if people think I'm cool; I know I'm cool and that's enough for me and 2) I didn't pay $2 to stand. Fortunately, almost everyone there was old so they sat down again pretty quickly.

And then these kids in front of us lit up a joint?

Why yes they did. And they were sharing.

SH didn't like the sound where we were so we had to walk to the other side. Yes, the sound was better there. In the process, we passed the red lighthouse, which I love. I know this photo is crummy -- there wasn't enough light for any of these.

The Allen-Bradley clock in the background.

When EWF finished -- they were great -- these guys perform -- and they dress nicely, which I appreciate. If I am going to pay (OK, only $2, but you get the point) to see you perform, would you please comb your hair and put on a clean shirt? I mean, act like you care. Oh. When they finished, we thought we would hang out and see Chicago, even though they are Not My Favorite. OK. I'll say it. They have maybe two decent songs, but other than that, they are BORING. If you like Chicago, you have Bad Taste in Music and I am talking to you, my Beloved. But we had an hour to kill before Billy Squier so whatever.

Well, this couple walked by and asked if we wanted regular seats for the concert. Sure! They gave us their tickets -- $45 tickets! We went down and watched from much closer, although it turns out that there was something wrong with that speaker and the sound had been better up on the lawn, not that it makes any difference with the drivel that is Chicago. It didn't help that the people behind us kept moving around and this one woman could not keep her butt from hitting my head and I don't know what that was all about. But I certainly enjoyed their loud discussion of blow jobs.

We left after 45 minutes so we could get to Billy Squier and got to his concert about 25 minutes in. I don't know if he had performed all his good stuff at the beginning or if he was waiting until the end, but we hit him at one of those tender ballad moments. You know, "I wrote this song for my little sister when she was going through a really tough time. She'd lost her teddy bear and she was really, really sad. This song cheered her up. This one's for you, sis!" And then he sang some dumb ballad which is not what I want an early '80s rocker to sing. Sheesh.

Then he sang a bunch of crap. It was getting cold and people were walking out of his concert because he was singing crap and I was getting mad because we were not going to get to Kopp's before they closed** and I wasn't even getting to hear the songs I liked. It wasn't until 11:00 -- when SUMMERFEST CLOSES -- that he started to sing his hits and then I was mad and cold and tired so we left. The End.

* I had a dream last night where I was in a crowd so whispered to SH, "Hey! I need a quarter!" and he yelled back, "Why? Did you get your period? Do you need it for the machine?" And I was just mortified, which is odd because more than once, he and I have stood in the Fem Hygiene section of the grocery store with my directing him to pull down that box of minipads and his saying, No, this one is a better deal. We don't do that now because I am no longer stocking two households, but when I was traveling between Milwaukee and Memphis, I got sick and tired of never remembering to pack things and finally just bought an extra set of everything I use and left it in his apartment.

** SH had been able to get the tickets online so we hadn't gone out earlier to buy them and thus had not gone by Kopp's for the Midnight Chocolate Cake frozen custard(Rich, dark, sinfully delicious. Chocolate truffel pieces, thick fudge and dark chocolate custard). Overall, a good thing, because SH needed that two hours to work rather than drive downtown for tickets and custard, but still.


Richard in NY said...

I miss frozen custard, but not EWF or Chicago. I am glad you had a nice time, though.


SH said...

Summerfest closes at midnight, not at 11:00.

Anonymous Mother said...

Very cool photo of the Art Museum with the repetition of angles in the clouds!