Me: Hey! Just so you know, I'm throwing away this LLBean catalogue from 2006!
SH [running down to the basement]: Wait! What are you doing?
Yes. Random photos from our trip to New Orleans a few years ago. They do not take up a lot of storage space in the basement.
Me: I was moving these boxes so I could get to the dresser and this one opened. It's full of old junk mail.
SH: Stop! Don't throw anything away!
Me: Why? Do we really need the Franklin School District 2007 calendar?
I stop for a second as I think about the difference between SH and me. He has moved only a handful of times, I moved ten times (maybe more?) before finishing high school and had to discard stuff each move because we had a weight allowance. The military does not like to waste taxpayer money by moving old newspapers or bills across the Atlantic Ocean. You will never open my mother's closet and find a paper bag full of random newspapers from ten years ago that she moved from San Antonio. Or the phone bills from 1996. SH is a gatherer, I am a shedder.
You would think that through the magic of marriage, I would have more control over what junk is allowed to stay in our house, but no.
Me: Or the Valu-Pak coupons from 2005?
SH: Why do you have to mess with this now?
Me: Because I saw it and I'm tired of having all this crap in my basement.
SH: Why are you stressing me out like this? Can't we leave this until later?
Cafe du Monde waiters goofing off instead of waiting tables. I finally bussed our table and went to the counter to place our order.
Me: This box has been here for 14 months. It's time.