Me: Your hair looks good.
SH: Yes, Carol [my hairdresser, whom he tried for the first time on Friday] did a good job. She knows what she's doing.*
Me: So you can go to Carol now. She's a lot closer [five minutes versus 20] and she charges a lot less.
SH: I would save $15 a haircut. If I get my hair cut eight times a year, then that's $120 a year, which is 24 Guinesses.**
* SH has maintained that Nicole is the only one who can cut his hair because you know, nobody else in the world has thick (albeit thinning, which I don't care about), wiry, gray hair.
** The savings accrue to our joint benefit only if SH does not drink more beer than he would otherwise. They accrue to SH's benefit if he drinks another two beers a month.