Scene: SH tried to get a piece of plywood 60" x 80" this weekend at Menard's, but they won't cut plywood to order and the standard size is not what we want. (We need a mattress-firming piece -- it is our compromise to buying a new mattress, which I think is unnecessary, but SH is a man who likes to shop, that is, A Stuff-Buyer. And a Blanket Folder, but that is another story, but I will say this: who cares if the blanket on the sofa in the basement is obsessively folded into a perfect, neat rectangle and lined up squarely with the edges of the cushions? I'll give you a hint: Not I.)
Me: I just called Home Depot. They will cut plywood to order.
Me: Want me to go get it after the gym?
SH: No! [Because I have so much free time* that I can waste it going to the hardware store and besides, how can I be sure you would do it right, even though you owned your own house for eight years, indeed, were within $300 of paying it off when you sold it, and did almost all your own home repairs and pretty much ran your life OK until I met you when you were 42?]
* That would be so much free time that he has been up until 2:30 a.m. working for the past two nights.