Friday, October 30, 2009

Marriage 201, Lecture 288: Science vs Superstition

Contents of SH's "I don't TAKE drugs" medicine chest:

  • Airborne
  • Echinacea
  • Zicam

Contents of my "Drugs are my best friend" medicine chest:

  • Imitrex: oral, nasal, and injectable (never used because I have never been in that much pain to overcome my fear of giving myself a shot)
  • Relpax
  • Aspirin
  • Motrin
  • Tylenol
  • Sudafed
  • Three leftover Valium from some outpatient thingy in 2002 that I am saving for a special occasion. I discovered I really like Valium. Too bad I didn't know this when I lived in Chile and could have gotten it over the counter.
  • Vicodin, which not only does not get rid of my headaches but does not even get me high and how ticked off am I about that?
  • A few leftover Mefloquine (was that the one? or was it Larium?) that I took when I came back from Chile over land and the Chilean pharmacist told me to take the dose that you take for if you already have malaria, not the dose you take to prevent malaria and let me tell you, taking the curative dose is not what you want if you do not have malaria because it makes you feel really, really awful and you think heck, I think I'd rather just have malaria instead and then the owner of the pension where you are staying in northern Argentina asks How much of that are you taking? and you tell him and he says That's crazy! You shouldn't be taking that much! The guys who worked for me cutting down trees in the jungle in Paraguay didn't take that much and then you realize that the pharmacist in Chile, where they DO NOT HAVE MALARIA, did not know what he was talking about
  • Dramamine just in case SH wants to drive on winding mountain roads or I get on one of those little ferry boats that goes between the Greek islands (not the ones that carry cars -- they are stable) and belches petroleum fumes and everyone around me is throwing up
  • Ex-Lax from that one time.
  • Tums.

Naughty Shirley licking the grease from the cookie sheet. I made crackling cookies, which were not as good as the bacon chocolate chip cookies I made last week. Both recipes were a little too sweet. I would just use an oatmeal-chocolate-chip recipe next time and throw in a handful of bacon. The bacon choc-chip cookies were better because they were a bit saltier. The crackling cookies came from my grandmother's church cookbook and you know how those are: recipes from a bunch of ladies who know how to make whatever in their sleep and they don't need no steenkin' recipe so if you ask them to write it down, you get something that is sort of like what they make but might not be because they make it by feel, not by measure. I tried to find a recipe for crackling cookies online, but could find nothing. Well, I could, but not for this kind of cracklings.

1 comment:

Anonymous Mother said...

I made Ginger Snaps yesterday, my annual Halloween treat for my neighborhood kids. My theory is that if you don't know me well enough to trust my "treat", you shouldn't be Trick 'r' Treating at my house.