SH: What do you want for your birthday?
Me: You already got me those diamond earrings.*
SH: Those were for our anniversary.
Me: And my birthday and Christmas and my birthday and Christmas. I don't want anything.
SH: But I have to get you something.
Me: Fine. I want three hours some Saturday of you throwing out your crap in the basement.**
SH: I don't want to do that.
Me: That's what I want.
SH: Can't I just buy you something?
SH: You're mean.
* We took the tiny diamonds from SH's first wedding ring and had them made into drop earrings -- four diamonds on one side and three on the other. Yes, they are not equal in length. Or won't be. They're not supposed to be, but the jeweler forgot in the long time between SH delivering the ring to him for an estimate and our finally deciding to the spend the money. The moral of the story is Make sure what you want is written on the work order. The jeweler is good though, and is going to fix it.
** Because if the crap -- a box containing 21 gimme hats, another four boxes of old (1997) bills and junk mail, etc, etc -- is gone, then when SH needs something down there, he will have far less junk to look through and we will not have the Panic Attack of Omigod Where are the [bolts for the snow tires, whatever]?