Thursday, October 15, 2009

Marriage 201, Lecture 87: Passion

Just because The Engineer and I have been married for a year and a month now (or, as he will say, A year, three weeks and five days but whatever) doesn't mean the romance is gone from our relationship. We are still in that honeymoon phase. To wit. Last night, he called me from Dallas and we had a conversation something like this:

SH: My leg is oozing.

We should have let the cat lick the wound clean, as our friend Gary suggested.

Me: Still? We took the stitches out on Sunday.

SH: The bandage is all grody and the stuff is getting on my pants. They'll need to be washed.

Me: Oh, yuck.

SH: And it stinks. I just smelled it.

Me: I knew I should have made you take more bandages.

SH: I'm poking it and it's hard.

Me: Is it pus? Or that clear stuff?

SH: It's not pus from an infection, but it's the stuff that comes out of a cyst -- kind of thick and yellow and nasty.

See? Romantic. Then, to cap off the evening and leave me with sweet dreams of my love, he sent me this email:

Well, I found a good deal: a box of five adhesive bandages with Neosporin already on the pads for $5.29 with a $2 coupon on the box. There is even a notation on the receipt that the expense is "FSA eligible." (I'll save the receipt for you in case you want to use it.)

The bad thing is that adhesive bandages are indeed unpleasant to wear on a hairy leg. I tried shaving a little bit of the hair and decided that thoroughly shaving the entire area would be too much trouble.

The wound is producing a large amount of smelly liquid (sebum). That wasn't happening yesterday, so I hope this is just a phase of the healing.


Jan said...

My god, woman, I don't know how you stand all the sweet talking.

Really, though, I hope his leg is going to be all right.

class-factotum said...

Jan, it's like living in a Harlequin novel.

Richard in NY said...

It sounds to me like early stage ebola, or possibly that flesh eating bacteria.

class-factotum said...

Richard, he does have decent life insurance, so it's OK.

molly said...

So hot. Just super hot. You should make sure children can't access this site, though, it's really almost indecent.

Marta said...

I think with ebola you bleed from the eyes. Keep us posted if he develops that symptom because I haven't read enough to gross me out yet. ;-P

Maureen@IslandRoar said...

Wow, I'm getting all hot and bothered just reading this...
Seriously, the drainage should slowly grow more clear and the odor less distinct as it heals. If it gets thicker, more yellow or even a hint of green, or smells worse, he needs to be seen (sorry, I tried to shut up, but the nurse in me will not be silenced.).

Lindy said...

Another post that's making me queasy. Please make him see a doctor... for his sake and for mine and for other posters, like Marta who is grossed out and Maureen who was forced to put on her nurse's cap.

Kathryn said...

Oooh...he's a sweet talker, that one!
Just watch out for infection...I don't like anything that comes out a body that's yellow or green. Usually not a good sign.