1. Dear Sendik's bagger: I put my items on the belt in the order that I wanted them packed. That meant that I did not want the pears, which were last, on the bottom of the bag underneath the canned tomatoes and cabbage. Pears bruise. They are delicate. That is why they cannot have heavy things on top of them. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings when I grabbed the bag from you, emptied it and repacked it myself, but Lord have mercy, you are 60 years old. Have you never bought food?
2. Dear TJMaxx cashier: I am removing the hangers from my items because I do not want to take cheap plastic hangers home with me and because I want to speed up the checkout process. Your job while I am removing hangers is to ring up and bag the non-hanger items. It is not to stand there, watch me take off hangers, and stack the hangers neatly.
3. Dear Old-folks' home: If you ask me to make cookies for the old folks who live there, do not tell me the next week when I deliver said cookies that oops, you don't want homemade cookies because my kitchen probably does not have a commercial license and who knows what could happen because don't you know how many people die from improperly-prepared homemade cookies every year? Don't tell me you want store-bought cookies instead because I would never push that crap on somebody else. Store-bought cookies are for lazy people, people who do not know how to bake, and people who don't know what good food is supposed to taste like.