Thursday, November 19, 2009

Chats du jour: Kitty Weight Watchers

This might be a totally stupid question and you are free to laugh at me in the comments or to your friends or wherever you want but -- does a cat need to consume 3,500 calories to gain a pound?

Oh please. Please.

I ask this because Shirley, who finally convinced us that she was starving, yes starving to death so we started to feed her more, has gained either half a pound or an entire pound in the past two weeks. (Our digital scale weighs in half-pound increments.) Let's go with a pound. So she's gone from seven to eight pounds, which is what, a 14% increase? On maybe half a tablespoon more of food every day?

I know I could gain a pound in two weeks. I have done so before. Yum. Cheese. But my normal diet isn't just one-third a cup of cat food a day, which is I don't know how many calories because they don't put the calorie information on the cat food bag. And my starting weight isn't just seven pounds.

I don't care how much the cats weigh except the vet told us not to let them get fat because of cat diabetes. I also don't want them to be hungry. So there is the issue.

What we have learned from this experience is that no matter how much we feed Shirley, she will still jump into the sink and try to eat whatever is in there. So maybe she isn't hungry. Maybe she is just feeding other issues and needs therapy. Which our pet insurance does not cover. So it's the church basement and the 12-step program for us.


Anonymous said...

Poor thing isn't hungry, but just trying to follow her kitty genetic instincts. Cats sleep a lot. Their remaining time they want to hunt first, then goof off second. You need to get her out hunting for her food and out of the kitchen. She'll get more exercise that way, probably get a better balanced diet, and she can exercise her kitty instincts.

Stop feeding her anything, put her in the backyard and see how she does with those pesky rabbits and birds and mice out there. You'll both be happier.

-gbeck (only mildly joking)

class-factotum said...

I want her to hunt! I want to let her out! But SH is convinced that the non-existent pit bulls will eat the cats.

Anonymous said...

Cats can climb trees, and run faster. It's not like you have hawks or eagles circling your house waiting for a fat juicy pussy cat to swoop down and haul back to the nest for the young 'uns.

And Shirley could use the exercise a good chase by a phantom pit bull would give her. She'll quickly change her hunting patterns around any new threats, real or imagined.

-gb (who refuses to open a Google Identity account, they have too much info on me already)

class-factotum said...

If you were still SH's boss, you could pull rank on him on this.

As far as the google account, haven't you ever heard of lying?

John0 Juanderlust said...

Therapy, or hard knocks. The only hope for these anthropomorphized felines.
Or drugs