Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Marriage 201, Lecture 342: Save it for later

Me: Should we put this stuff in the Goodwill pile?

SH: I don't know.

Me: Well, decide.

SH: I need to think about it.

Me: What's there to think about? Either you want it or you don't.

SH: Stop pressuring me!

Me: Make a decision. This is easy.

SH: No! It's easy to decide to acquire something. It's hard to decide to get rid of something.

Me: No. It's the other way around. Besides, when is the last time you used this stuff? [a picnic backpack and some other junk]

SH: I don't know.

Me: Not since I met you, so at least four years and ten days.

SH: What if we want to go on a picnic someday?

Me: We won't. I hate picnics. I don't want to eat sitting on the ground. It's uncomfortable. Picnics are overrated. I hate hiking. I hate picnics. Picnics are stupid.

SH: Shouldn't you do things just because I like them?

Me: [say nothing but long long look]

SH: Oh. But if you do things just because I like them, then I have to do things just because you like them and then I would have to take salsa classes with you.

Me: Which you have to do anyhow because that was your Christmas present to me last year and no, you are not getting out of it.

SH: But weren't those cancellations* a sign from God that I don't have to take it?

Me: No.

* First cancellation: We call the day before, yes, there is a class, we show up, class has been canceled
2nd: We go to Class 1, plan to go to Class 2 the next week, teachers tell us they are canceling because they are going to a competition in Chicago the next week. Professional. Class 2 has been scheduled for three months
3rd: Class canceled because of swine flu, or as it is officially known by act of Wisconsin legislature, which has nothing better to do, H1N1 flu

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