SH: Hey! What are you doing?
Me: Having a bite of strudel.
SH: But that's not polite. You're not supposed to just bite out of the strudel. You're supposed to cut a piece from it.
Me: Who made you the Strudel Rule Maker? This is how normal people eat strudel.
My grandmother, making strudel.
SH: Besides, that's supposed to be my strudel. You brought it back from the funeral for me.
Me: That was in July. You have opened the freezer every night and looked past it at the custard and the cookies and the chocolate chocolate-chip zucchini bread for over three months. The strudel statute of limitations is up, bud. The strudel is mine.
SH: I've been saving it for a custard emergency.