Sunday, November 08, 2009

Marriage 201, Lecture 82: You'll miss me when I'm dead

SH and I are arguing about wills. I want him to write one, darnit, because if I die before he does and then he dies before his parents do but he has not spent my 401K, which is not insubstantial because I thought I would never marry and would have to provide for myself until my death at 97 or so because that's when the women in my family die, I want my mother to have it and I will leave the rest to your imagination but if you want to know more, be my facebook friend because that's where I put the Good Stuff. Just leave me a note in the comments.

My mom's dad lived to only 88. His life was tragically cut short by smoking and the bacon grease he put on his toast every morning.

I found this advice at a legal website. Don't say you weren't warned. "I forgot" is not a legal defense.

Provide at Least Nominal Gifts to All Your Children. Make certain that you leave at least something for your children (and your grandchildren, if any of your children are deceased), if you have any such descendants. If you leave nothing for them, a judge could determine at a later date that you forgot to do so, should one of them challenge your Will.

See? Smoking. And guns. Gets you every time.


Anonymous said...

Tell me more about "bacon grease on his toast"... How does one do this? Take toast and dip it in hot bacon grease? It sounds.... intriguing. Of course, I don't eat toast anymore, but I do eat bacon, but not the grease.


class-factotum said...

Gary, he would just spread hot bacon grease on his toast. I have tried this and it is yummy. Just a meat-flavored variation of butter.

Anonymous said...

I'll have to try it with some HGMM* bacon when we are back over Xmas.


*Howard's Grove Meat Market

Lindy said...

Do you know that the beneficiary of a 401k is determine by a "401k beneficiary designation form" and NOT by a will? This form is issued by the 401k plan administrator (e.g., Fidelity.) You should keep a copy with your 401k records.

Here is my unsolicited suggestion: Change your 401k designation form to leave 50% to your mother and 50%to your husband, with wording that if she predeceases him, he will get her undistributed shares. I'm not sure you can control it much beyond that.

If you call your 401k plan, they can walk you through it.

Ptolemy said...

I'd be happy to "friend" you at FB!

class-factotum said...

Thanks, Lindy. Yes, I have her as my beneficiary on one of my 401ks, with SH as the secondary, but I made SH the beneficiary on the other one (I worked for five years at one company and eight at another, plus random little stuff) when we got married.

I also made the 50% down payment on our house with the proceeds from the sale of my house in Memphis. Of course, SH pays for everything now, as I am a gold-digger/lady of leisure who is living the life of Riley (although I will point out that SH has not mowed the lawn or raked leaves since we moved into this house) so it probably balances out, but still.

If SH spends everything I brought to the marriage before he dies, that's fine, and I know he would help my mom if she needed it, but if he died a year after I did, then.

Well. Then. There are some assets there that I really, really want to go to my mom. And not anywhere else. If you know what I mean.

Lindy said...

Ok, now on to bacon grease. Have you ever read the cookbook "Beat This" by Ann Hodgman. I read it when I need a good laugh.

Here is her opinion on bacon:
"I wish bacon were treated with the reverence it deserves: as a more-valuable-than-gold flavoring agent rather than the greasy killer most educated people believe it is." Amen!

Anonymous said...

This is on my list of things to try before I die...


Anonymous Mother said...

Actually, he spread cooled bacon grease on a thick slice of untoasted homemade white bread and sprinkled it with salt and pepper.

He died at age 83.

HRD said...

Re "the bacon fat" debate (because I know nothing about wills etc!. I think I'm right in saying that the proper name for this (in the UK)is dripping.

It's mainly a northern thing and used to be beef primarily, although pork was used too. It used to be used to fry things like fish and chips (until the health police took over) but was also spread on bread....although I think this was cold and not hot.

I stand to be corrected by greater wisdom though.

class-factotum said...

HRD, as you can see, I was wrong on the bacon drippings. They were cool, not hot. Spread on bread, not toast. My mom was actually there. (But as I have mentioned, hot bacon grease on toast is good.)

My grandfather had Norwegian/German ancestry, not English, but maybe this is just a Northern/Western European thing, if I may be so bold as to consider the English as Europeans.

Pork cracklings is used for cookies in a recipe in my granma's church cookbook. Poor folk Do Not Waste.

Lindy, I have requested that book from the library.

Gary, I think "before you die" is the operative phrase.

Richard in NY said...

It's generally not a good idea to leave money in a former employers 401K plan for a lot of reasons. Roll them all over into a single IRA account at one of the discount brokers like Fidelity or Schwab. You'll get better customer service, lower costs and far more investment options.