Thursday, November 19, 2009

Marriage 201, Lecture 92: We each have our kryptonite

SH cannot let a Sunday go by without a trip to Menard's, but I think that is just a guy thing, although I wonder if other men read the ads to look for things they already bought.

"Ha!" he'll say. "I got a way better deal on our TV." Sometimes he'll find that Target has dropped the price on an item we bought in the past 60 days and as he is going that way anyhow -- Target is next to Menard's (both of which are conveniently located by Culver's-- it's not as good as Kopp's but it's there and sometimes they have a flavor he likes), he takes the receipt from his Leaning Tower of Visa and gets the markdown.

So all of that might not be a guy thing. Some if it might be an SH thing. But it all adds up to pay for the ONE HUNDRED EIGHTY DOLLARS WORTH OF WINE THAT I WILL NOT DRINK so I guess that's OK.

But SH's real buying problem?

Woot. Have you heard of it? It's a website that offers one item per day, so they create this artificial scarcity that instills panic and desire in the buyers. They employ excellent copywriters, perhaps the people who used to work at Banana Republic back when Banana Republic was a fun place to shop and had that catalogue that made you feel like you were preparing for a Grand Safari and the Adventure of Your Life. Now the name "Banana Republic" has about as much connection with the store and the clothes as -- hmmm- well, as some metaphor that will come to me tonight as I am about to fall asleep. But nothing. The name has nothing to do with the store and the clothes. There are no pith helmets in the store any more.

So this is SH's latest purchase from Three pink foam desk fans for 99 cents each. "For a little girl!" he told me. Alert readers have probably noticed that SH and I do not have any children. Are unlikely to have any children. Even if we were to have children (unlikely!!!!!) we would not need to hold onto THREE PINK FOAM DESK FANS until such time that unlikely children would want to use them. "But we could give them away!" he said hopefully.


I cannot be too critical. I might not have my Sunday Menard's ritual, where I return with candles for the bathroom (even though we have candles), refills for the soap dispenser (even though we have half a gallon of soap refill, "But it was a good deal!"), and two carloads of insulation for the attic and I am not going to complain about that one at all because our heating bills are outrageous and that's with keeping the house cold, with apologies to all houseguests past and future.

No. I don't have Menard's, but I have Goodwill.

Where I found these treasures yesterday.

Which leads one not to the question of who gives silver plate to Goodwill but why does Goodwill charge $6.99 for a used sweater that is pilled and smells a little bit but only $1.99 for a silver plate serving dish that needs nothing more than a quick polishing?


Jan said...

Without even trying to BEGIN to understand the peculiarities of Goodwill pricing, may I just ask how we ALL ever got through the day before without one of those pink foam fans??

Richard in NY said...

I woot too, but manage to restrain myself 99% of the time. They do sometimes have some seriously great deals on things I actually want and need, like a blue tooth headset to go with my cell phone for $5 after a $20 mail in rebate, and an aluminum extension ladder that's $275 at Home Depot for $129.

Woot is dangerous if you have no impulse control but a great source of bargains if you do.

class-factotum said...

Oh thank you Richard for talking about the ladder. Like we need another ladder. Do you know how many hammers we have? Like hammer technology has changed? And how many times have we needed a hammer in the past year? A hammer? Instead of say a shoe?

Richard in NY said...

* looks around nervously *

How many hammers do you have, CF?

Melissa said...

I feel your pain, CF, at least in terms of the Menards runs. DH buys various saws, clippers, hammers, and pliers. I ask him, "What do we need this for?" He's always so triumphant when a use has finally been found.

That was an awesome deal on the silver platters! I need to hit Goodwill more often.

Lindy said...

Little girls NEED pink foam fans?

Why am I reading your blog at 3:30 AM? Milwaukee is having a parade this morning and has set up "temporary no parking" signs on my street. Tow trucks have been noisily towing away cars for the past TWO hours. Milwaukeee is a police state, I tell you.

Lindy said...

P.S. At which local Goodwill did you find your treasures?

Lindy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lindy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
class-factotum said...

Lindy, I got the silver at the new Goodwill on 124th behind the new Target, but some ladies there told me that the one on 91st is even better. I found my cool pie safe thing ($7) at the one on Oklahoma and I found my maple end table ($5) that I refinished at the Salvation Army on 76th and Greenfield. My friend Bruce who has an estate sale business and is a certified appraised told me that he would price such a table at $150. So there are deals out there.