I hear the trash guys approaching. I have left a 24-pack of Miller longnecks next to the trash can as their Christmas tip. I run out to the street in nothing but my PJs and robe. It is 5 degrees. Five.
Regardez le beer. I don't think anyone would steal beer, but you never know.
Me: Hey! I just want to make sure that you guys know that that's not trash. It's for you guys. For Christmas.
Guy: We're not da trash. We're da recycling.
Me: Oh. I thought you were all one team.
Guy: Nope. Dey're different guys.
Recycling Guy: I'll make sure dose guys get it. I'll tell dem it's dere. Dey'll get it.
Me: I'll leave something for you next week. I mean the week after that.
RG: Oh dat's OK. You don't gotta do nuttin'. [shakes my hand] Merry Christmas!