SH: Oh no! This is all wrong!
Me: No it's not.
SH: You taped across! Everybody tapes the long way. This is all wrong!
Me: No it's not. It's sealed.
SH: And you only taped about an inch over the side!
Me: So what?
SH: And look! You can lift the ends! What if stuff falls out?
Me: There's nothing to fall out.
SH: Everybody tapes the other way.
Me: No they don't.
SH: People who wrap boxes do.
Me: I have shipped plenty of boxes.*
SH [taping madly]: And the label! The label is all wrong! You didn't even close the label.
Me: I didn't know if the UPS guy would need to do something.
SH [exasperated sigh]: No! You're supposed to seal it.
* Not to mention I WORKED FOR A BOX COMPANY FOR NINE YEARS.