Friday, January 08, 2010

Marriage 201, Lecture 391: My people do not waste

After we had to make a special trip to Target* for the men's sock sale and even get a raincheck so SH could "replace" some of his holey socks.

SH: Maybe I can get rid of these socks.

Me: As in throw them away?

As SH shows me his socks, I say, "Get me my camera." He says, "Wait. I am not only supposed to be your straight man, but I have to get your camera while you sit in bed, too?" I say, "That's right." He does it. He is such a sweetie. Aren't I lucky?

SH: Yes.

Me: Good.

SH: Well, maybe not throw them away.

Me: What do you mean?**

SH: This sock isn't so bad. It's not a toe-sticking-through sock. It can be a slipper sock.

Me: And you bought all those new socks why?

SH: I dunno.

* We were on our way back from Bonnie and Gary's and had just stopped at Costco. Target was across the street. We don't usually shop together because shopping with SH Makes Me Nuts. He has to look at Every Single Item. If we are grocery shopping, he has to look at every single expiration date, every single orange, every single package of steak. (I am not making this up.) SH cannot set a standard and then pick the first item that meets that standard. He has to look at every item to make sure that it is not better than the item that he has in his hand. I am surprised he actually married me. What if there is someone he likes better out there?

** I am thinking he wants me to darn it and I am over darning his socks. He has a drawer full of socks but wears the same five pairs over and over. Basta, I say. Basta.


LPC said...

And I bet he checks all the milk on the cold shelves for the one with the latest expiration date. Right? Am I right? It's called, "Optimization." The one key skill of terminator engineers.

Class factotum said...

Omigosh LPC. How did you know? Yes. He does. Every single jug of milk must be checked. Are you saying he can't help it? Is there a 12-step program?

Class factotum said...

LPC. He says he doesn't check ALL the milk. He does a representative survey. He pulls three or four jugs of milk on two or three rows. It's the Right Thing To Do.

Maureen@IslandRoar said...

Basta, indeed!
I say the sox get wacked in the middle of the night.

Richard in NY said...

Or better yet, all of those old socks disappear in the black hole that lurks in the dryer.