Scene 1. We have just arrived at the play. I remove my coat. The woman behind me clears her throat.
Woman: Excuse me. Your dress is unzipped.
Does this look like a new fashion? A fashion where one only zips halfway, exposing the label and one's bra strap? Am I in the fashion vanguard, I, who lives in gym clothes usually?
Woman: Your dress.
Me: Oh my gosh. SH. Would you zip me, please?
SH: I noticed that before we left the house.
Me: What? And you didn't do anything?
SH: I wasn't sure if you wanted me to zip it.
Me: Why would I not want you to zip it for me? I forgot to ask! In the future, please assume if you see me with an unzipped dress that I do indeed want you to zip it for me.
Scene 2. After the play. We are going to walk to the restaurant, which is near the playhouse and the parking garage. It is cold.
SH: I think the restaurant is a few blocks this way. Or is it that way?
Me: Let's ask.
SH: No! We can just walk around.
Me: Are you crazy? I am not walking around in this cold.
SH: I am not asking! I live here. I should know.
Me: Fine. I'll ask and I'll tell them my husband is a guy and because of that is too proud to ask. They'll understand.