The plumber guys came yesterday to clean the tree roots out of the sewer lines from our house to the main line under the street. Our hope is that the next time we have a 100-year flood rain, which happens about every eight years here, the water flows into the dirt, through the tile something, into the pipes around our house, and out the sanitary sewer lines via the Palmer valve blah blah blah plumber talk engineer talk all the way into the city's sewer lines and into Lake Michigan rather than being stopped by roots and old toilet paper and being pushed back into our basement and onto our relatively new carpet,* which we have thanks to USAA and that we are not eager to replace.
After Plumber One finished snaking his giant roto-rooter through the pipe and after Shirley came down to the basement to inspect the machine because she loves anything that makes noise, SH and Plumber Two had a conversation about flooding and how to prevent and general basement dampness. SH pointed out his engineering feat of elevating all the boxes and tires and insulation onto 2x4s.
Plumber Two: Oh, ya don't got to do dat. Why, we got a company we work wit' down sout' of town where dey got all dese extra pallets dat dey just give--
Me: [shaking head desperately, drawing finger across throat]
Plumber Two: I mean-
Me: Maybe we could just get rid of some of the boxes?
SH: You think we should throw away everything!
Me: Pretty much.
Plumber One: Oh dis basement is nuttin'. We seen basements dat are full all da way to da ceiling wit' stuff!
Me [glaring]: You're not helping.
* The only place in the basement that gets wet when it floods.