Me: I got bagels.
SH: What flavors?
Le pain et l'eau.
Me: One egg, one whole wheat, one cinnamon-sugar, and one asiago.
SH: Did you eat them all?
Me: No! I took a bite or two out of each one. There's still plenty left
SH: You did what?!
Me: I just wanted a taste.
SH: That is not the right way to do it. You have the worst eating habits.
Me: Who made you in charge of the food rules? I am 46 years old. If I want to eat just one bite of the bagel, I can eat just one bite. Get. Off. My. Back.