Monday, February 22, 2010

Monday report

So y'all I'm feeling kind of cranky because I don't have anything to write about because all I'm doing is shoveling snow again ThankYouMrGlobalWarmingAlGore and doing our TAXES and I'm all, "Why don't I just open up my veins, you bloodsuckers?" and SH is all, "But it's a privilege to give all our hard-earned money to those crooks!" and I'm all, "Sometimes I cannot believe you and I are even the same species."

Isn't this a gorgeous shot? My friends Janet and Marty from the Peace Corps just took a trip to Mexico and agreed to let me share some of their photos.

And then another part of the reason I'm cranky is because I have not had dessert* since last Wednesday.** Or mostly have not had dessert. I was going to give up sugar entirely, which of necessity includes dessert but not the sugar in my coffee because I have stopped consuming artificial sweetener to see if that makes a difference in my headaches and no way am I giving up sugar and caffeine in one fell swoop.

Then I realized that stopping desserts entirely makes me completely obsessed with them to the point that I start all this disordered eating like nibbling the edges off the Pop-Tart but then throwing away the rest of the Pop-Tart which is WASTEFUL and My People Do Not Waste so there you have me torn between throwing away food (bad) and breaking my Lenten thingy (also bad) and my head is whipping from side to side as I try to decide which is the lesser of the two bads and I get a headache just thinking about it.

And that was just on Thursday. Day Two.

So I decided that surely there must be a non-food (as in, Lent<>diet) thing I could do. You know - just to give me some slack in the dessert area. Not that I want to not give up dessert. But just so it's not so dire that it's all I think about. Not that I'm obsessive or anything.

But I am.

So I decided to give up facebook.***

Which has been a challenge. And is causing me great suffering and withdrawal.

The only thing that is making it less difficult is that the person whose updates are the most interesting and funny - my friend Jeff Abbott, the internationally best-selling author - is also giving up FB for Lent. Well, that's not what he said. He just said he was devoting his social networking time for the next 40 days to a special writing project. But he's Episcopalian, so maybe they don't really do Lent. Whatever. Point is, without his updates to read, it's not like FB is that entertaining anyhow.

Well rats. Does that mean it doesn't count?

* Note: Doughnuts do not count as dessert because they are a BREAKFAST FOOD.

** I almost spelled it "Wendsday," which is how it should be spelled and is how my optometrist - or her clerk - spelled it at her new office. I saw the sign as I went in and debated whether to say something because although inside, I am That Woman, I don't want to be That Woman. You know, that bitchy lady who is always correcting people. She's rude and obnoxious and nobody likes her. At the same time, my eye doc probably does not want a misspelled sign. So I discreetly pointed it out to the desk folks. Very discreetly. Because I also make many a spelling mistake myself. Thank goodness for spellcheck is what I say.

*** I actually thought about giving up the internet altogether and then I laughed. Ha! Good one!


Richard in NY said...

I'm an Episcopalian, and we do Lent, but giving stuff up is optional. So I'm still eating deserts and web surfing.

Come over to the dark side. We don't hold hands in church either.

Jan said...

I am so glad I was raised Protestant and don't have Lent Guilt.

Melissa said...

I'm with the hard-core German Lutheran denomination, but I didn't grow up with "Lent Guilt" (to borrow Jan's phrase), either. I, too, am appreciative of that. Giving up chocolate when my 2-yr-old is smack-dab in the middle of the "terrible twos" would not be a fun time.

Anonymous Mother said...

How about doing something POSITIVE--like a weekly holy hour at church--instead of fixating on the negative. You will find that an hour of prayer and/or meditation makes you feel GOOD!

Class factotum said...

Mom, would I be able to have my cake and eat it too? That sounds great!

Aonymous Mother said...

There is no rule that says you HAVE TO give up something! If you are doing it begrudgingly, then why bother?

Try a holy hour; Grandma used to pick me up after high school one day a week, and we would do a holy hour. Take along your rosary and some reading material, your Bible for instance. You will find that the time passes quickly. And you don't HAVE TO spend the whole time praying; sometimes you can just listen to what He is saying to you!

Jeff Abbott said...

I am flattered that you think my FB updates are amusing. And yes, Episcopalians do Lent, complete with ashes on Ash Wednesday. We have saints, too. Wow, after Easter I bet be interesting on FB! The pressure's on.

Class factotum said...

Hey Jeff - sorry your comment didn't appear immediately. I moderate comments for the older posts because they are usually for viagra. But yes - the pressure is definitely on you after Sunday!