My friend Petunia is going to be guest blogging about keeping her brother Bob this week. Bob has Asperger's syndrome. I've met Bob. I didn't realize there was anything amiss with him - just thought he was some guy with a strong interest in 40s movies. But then I am not the most perceptive woman on the block.
Petunia is keeping Bob because their sister, Lily, who was supposed to keep him this week, had yet another failed suicide attempt the other day. Lily will do anything to get out of her family obligations. Now Lily is on the way to being committed. Again. You'd think Lily would know by now that pills and a phone call are not the way to commit suicide. You'd also think that if she didn't want to keep Bob for the week, she would just say, "Hey. I don't want to keep Bob for the week." But to OD on pills - that's a little dramatic. That is also the Lily way. I have met Lily.
Bob usually lives with his mother and stepfather, but they are on their way to stay with sister #3, Violet, who has just had a baby.
Petunia has prepared her house for Bob's arrival. She has hidden most of the food. Why?
"Because Bob will open a can of frosting and scoop out one tablespoon for whatever concoction he is making. Then the frosting is ruined. I can't use it. I might have been saving it for something the next month. Or just whenever. I've hidden all the brownie mix and cake mix and everything in Joe's office."
Here are the rules for Bob.
1. No showers before 9:00 a.m. "Because otherwise Bob would get in the shower and stay there for an hour and use up all the hot water and nobody would be able to get ready for work."
2. No petting the dogs. "They get jealous. He doesn't pick up on their cues, like hair raising on their backs. Then they start fighting."
3. He can't leave the house. "Can you imagine? He'd be dead in an hour."
4. He is not allowed in Joe's office.
Check back here for Petunia's adventures with Bob.