I am all stressed out because SH and I are going to Pittsburgh on Thursday and we'll be gone until Sunday and always it's the cats. What to do about the cats? Once they are dead, they will not be replaced for this very reason. Once SH is dead, he won't be replaced either. One and done.
Usually our neighbor Regina feeds the cats and I get her a bottle of wine. I used to try to find her something from wherever we visited, but I always think of getting food and she's on a diet. So it's wine, which she likes, so it works for us.
Anyhow. I emailed her last week to ask if she would feed the cats only it was one of my typical long emails where the request was buried in a lot of gossip about which neighbors shovel their sidewalks and which ones don't and she might have gotten tired by the time she got to the cat question. Or she might not have even read the email. Not everybody is a slave to email like I am.
I didn't hear anything back from her.
So I left her a phone message this morning.
And didn't hear anything back.
We leave Thursday.
I have sort of left this to the last minute, which is not like me, but Regina has always been a sure thing, plus I was sure I had backup.
So no problem. I call my Plan B, the kid who fed the cats last fall when we were in England and Germany. Not that Regina wouldn't have fed them then, but when you are gone for ten days, it's a little much to ask your neighbor to do that as a favor. I'd rather pay someone.
And the kid tells me he doesn't know - he'll have to check his schedule.
He's in seventh grade.
What kind of schedule does he have?
Crap. Now it's Tuesday night and we leave at 6:00 a.m. on Thursday and I don't have anyone to feed the cats and doesn't Regina want to be my friend any more? Why hasn't she called me back? I thought she liked me. I thought we were cool. But I don't want to nag her by calling again. What if I call her and she says, "Oh. It's you. What do you want?" in a dead voice.
That would be awful.
So I call our 80-year-old neighbor who lives two houses down from us. I ask if he'll be the backup cat feeder. I hate to ask him but I don't know who else to ask.
Then SH points out that not everyone listens to phone messages, especially on cellphones.
Who only turns on my phone when SH is out of town.
"They're home," he says. "Just go next door and ask her."
Ha. Will he have a door slammed in his face? Easy for him to say.
But I think maybe she is like me and never checks her messages because everyone in the world knows that I am an email person, not a phone person, so the only people who leave me phone messages are people trying to sell me something.
Regina's husband opens the door. She is in bed with a migraine. But of course they'll feed the cats. Of course. No hay de que.