I don't want to be ugly, but yoga is the stupidest exercise class I have ever attended.
I went yesterday. My YMCA finally stopped charging extra for yoga and pilates and all the other trendy classes, so I thought I'd give them a try. No, I have not tried pilates yet, but if it's full of that touchy-feely stuff, I am not interested.
I hated the class for many reasons. First of all, you have to take off your shoes and socks. I do not get squeamish about many things,* but standing barefoot in a place where strangers have been barefoot before me is one of the few things that grosses me out. I hate showering in a shower that has not been cleaned since the previous person used it, if that previous person is unknown to me. I don't mind using the shower of a friend, but no strangers, please. I clean the shower in the guest bath every time we have company just in case someone else has the same neurosis.
So yeah - I don't want to be barefoot AT THE GYM where everyone else has been sweaty barefoot before me. Plus I need a pedicure and I didn't want everyone looking at my gnarly toes.
Second, the music is stupid. It's quiet and relaxing and hello, this is an exercise class, I don't need to be relaxed. I especially do not want to be relaxed by rap yoga music. Yes. Rap yoga music exists. You'd think the "rap" and the "yoga" would cancel each other out, but this is not the case.
Third, it's boring. You strike a pose and hold it. And hold it. And hold it.
Fourth, and this is the main reason I HATE YOGA, is the instructor does not shut up. It would be OK if she were telling us what move to do next, but she's not. She talks constantly - constantly - saying things about "Honoring your space" and "Let go of your ego" and "Find your center" and "Be at peace with yourself and if you're at peace with yourself, you'll be at peace with others because we are all connected."
I wanted to punch her in the nose.
I will not be returning. My shoe-covered feet and I will stick with boot camp.
* I don't get bothered at other people's blood, but I can't stand my own and I can't watch someone getting a shot in the movies. I can, however, remove my hair from the draintrap in the shower, change a diaper, or fix a clogged toilet with no problem.