Me: So does Menards have any fire extinguishers on sale?
Me: Remember how I left the doughnuts in the oven and the plastic melted?*
SH: Yes. You're paranoid.
Me: No, I'm not. The plastic didn't melt and drip, but some sugar must have because there was a teeny tiny little fire [that burned itself out in about two heart-stopping minutes] in the bottom of the oven.
SH: Oh no!
Me: That's why I didn't tell you. I knew you would freak out.
* Plastic #5 is not recycled here but it melts just fine in the oven** when you forget to remove the doughnut box before you heat*** the oven to make lemon bars.
** SH thinks the doughnuts are contaminated now which is fine with me because it means more doughnuts for me hahahahahaha.
** I hate the term "pre-heat," don't you? You can't "pre" a verb.