Monday, May 24, 2010

Chats du jour: When the world is your toilet

I was minding my own business watching Season Two of Mad Men, which finally came into the library, which I had to reserve on both my card and SH's card and why did the hold that I put on it on my card two months after the hold I put on SH's card come in sooner? Why, I ask you? I think some money has been changing hands, if you know what I mean. How else could I be number six of eight for a month on SH's card and yet get it in only a month on my card?

Anyhow. I was in the basement, which was the only place in the house that didn't feel like an oven - thank you, Wisconsin weather, which takes us from needing to turn on the heat and wear sweatshirts one week to braising the next, although I will take heat over snow any day and I keep telling SH that when his plane crashes, I will be out of here faster than you can say, "Kopp's frozen custard" - watching Mad Men. It was the scene where Don and Betty are on a picnic with the kids and Don throws his empty beer can into the woods and Betty snaps all the trash off the blanket and leaves it there. On the ground. No crying Indian in sight. Then they get into a car without seatbelts and away they go.

Yet even over the noise of the TV (maybe it was the stripper scene with normal women, because that one had music) and one floor down from the open windows, I heard Laverne's desperate cries. They were louder than her "I'm stuck!" and "I have a mouse come admire me!" cries. I ran upstairs, worried that she might be dangling from the pear tree, an early-ripened treat ready for plucking, but she was just standing in the flowerbed near Hunting Spot #4. Yes, she was stuck, but she didn't seem anxious about it and when I untangled her, she followed me, wanting to come back inside.

Fine. Whatever. Whiny cat taking me away from the hunky, deeply-flawed, wouldn't want to be married to him but don't mind looking at him Don Draper.* I let her back inside, removed her harness, and went back to the basement. And Don.

Whereupon Laverne followed me down the stairs. Went past the sofa and through the door to the furnace room. To the litter box. Where she pooped.

Because that's not something she could have done outside.

Then she wanted to go out again.

* Is Don Draper today's Michael from 30something? They are both in advertising. But Hope is way whinier than Betty is, although that might be period accuracy. Betty drinks the day away, Hope talks about her feelings. Discuss.


Maureen@IslandRoar said...

I don't watch MadMen so I can't answer your question, but I'm laughing at your cat needing to come inside to poop! Creatures of habit. Or else she just likes a classy lou.

Michaela said...

Bloody cats. SO annoying! Our fake mouse-chaser has taken up peeing in the drain of the shower, and then scratching around it like she's covering something up. Because she is too lazy to go out when its cold and wet outside. TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE! I have taken to shutting all the bathroom doors.

Michelle Z said...

Cats, dogs, anything with a mouth, I swear want attention at the most inopportune times. "And the murderer was--" Why does Chewy, our 70 pound American Bulldog, choose to jump up on the couch and lick my face at that moment? The girls want another Pomeranian. My response, "No more mouths in this house." Or now that I think of it, the other end either.