Sunday, May 09, 2010

Marriage 201, Lecture 210: Yet he buys the spirally lightbulbs

This is what marriage means: It means sitting by watching your husband rearrange the freezer again and again with THE DOOR OPEN WHILE ALL THE COLD FALLS OUT. CLOSE THE DOOR! CLOSE THE DOOR!

Why does he have to rearrange the freezer? Why?

Because he wants all the bacon in the same place. That's why.

How does this work?

He pulls every item of food out, calls out its name, muses on how it should be prepared and what should accompany it, then places it back in the freezer while I shudder.

It's cold in here.

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