Last night, I was forced to admit that some things are more important than Beauty or Fashion or lovely leather BCBG slingback shoes that I got for only ten dollars (TEN DOLLARS!) at the fancy consignment store when I discovered that after walking a mere block from the playhouse, where SH and I saw "American Fiesta" by Steven Tomlinson, which we highly recommend, to the fancy Goodwill store, I was hobbling.
I used to wear high-heeled shoes to work every day and grind the little peoples under my pointy heel just for the fun of it. I wore the high heels and the not too short but short enough to show off my legs because by golly I have decent legs even if I have no chest and the VP, who wrote the dress code when she was the director of human resources yet violated it on a regular basis with her capris and sandals, had cankles, although her cankles did not show in her favorite outfit, which I called "The Philadelphia Pimp" and consisted of (I promise I am not making this up) crushed velvet pants with a paisley pattern, a turtleneck shirt and a leather vest with fur lining on the edges.
In retrospect, this might not have been the smartest of career moves, because when it came time for layoff number 832, the VP definitely did not have my back.
So anyway. SH and I attended the 4:00 p.m. showing of AMERICAN FIESTA BY STEVEN TOMLINSON which you all need to see, then stopped in at the fancy Goodwill store because why not? It's on the way to the car.
As SH was looking at blue shirts ("Look at this one. What do you think?" "I think it's just like the other 87 blue shirts you have at home." "It's nothing like them! I need it." "OK. I don't care." Seriously. It was four dollars. I love the Goodwill.) I was looking at shoes.
And purses. You never know what treasures you might encounter, although I just bought a new purse* at the big consignment sale at the JCC on Friday, so it's not like I need another one so soon, but purses are a thing you should get when you see the Right One because it is so rarely that the perfect purse comes along.
No luck on the purses, but I found some comfy shoes. I was inclined to think kindly of comfy shoes as my feet hurt. Throbbed. Screamed. Did I really suffer like this when I was in corporate America? Or did I wear more comfortable shoes? Was the pain assuaged by my salary? By my knowledge that I was making the VP look bad in comparison? By the fact that I spent most of the day sitting?
I don't know.
I just know that I saw these Nike Mary-Janeish things that didn't look too awful, as in looked like they might be suitable for wearing in a foreign country where SH and I would be doing a lot of walking and nobody I know would see me.** SH said, "Those are kind of cute."
I said, "They're not horrible."
And I thought about taking my hiking boots across the pond on our next big trip and how that would take up space that we could use to bring back cheese and chocolate, whereas if I got the $6 slightly used not horrible black Nike things - well, must I draw you a picture?
So I got the shoes. And SH got the shirt. And another shirt.
And then I sat on the steps outside the shop while he walked to the next block get the car. Because my feet hurt too much and no, I was not going to change into the not horrible shoes. They do not go with my cute red dress and orange pashmina shawl. I have not been reduced to that. I will not wear ugly shoes with a cute dress.
But the BCBG shoes are going into the Goodwill box.
* It is a red Arcadia purse. I had never heard of the brand before, but it is leather and made in Italy instead of plastic and made in China by political prisoners, so I decided it was probably OK. The ladies in line behind me assured me it was a nice brand and at $22, a steal. (I have done some research and apparently, this brand is available at TJMaxx, so $22 might not be such a bargain after all. Oh how the snobby have fallen.) BTW, person who consigned the pink silk and wool Banana Republic sweater WITH A BLEACH SPOT ON THE SHOULDER? Shame on you. Shame.
** Says the woman who does all her grocery shopping and library book picking up in her gym clothes after she has sweat in them.