Thursday, June 17, 2010

Marriage 201, Lecture 443: The couple that hikes together fights

As an antidote to yesterday's totally disgusting post, I am going to put up a pretty picture of the Point Bonita Lighthouse in San Francisco. SH and I "hiked" there this weekend. As in, there were old women in flip flops walking the half mile from the parking to the lighthouse.

That is my kind of hiking.

SH wants to take me on these 11-mile forced marches over hills with only one sausage, two rolls and an almond croissant to fortify us.* I don't like to work that hard and I don't like to be that far away from food.

He's all, "But look how beautiful this is! Wouldn't you rather do this than go to the gym?"

And I'm all, "Nope. I go to the gym for an hour and get it over with and then the fun (=lazy) part of my day starts. I don't know when this is going to end and I might be dead before we get back to the car. Plus there are no bathrooms out here which is not a problem for you but it is for me, even if we had brought toilet paper, WHICH WE DID NOT,** so I have to deal with holding it when I need to pee or [use your imagination here and keep in mind that even though I am allergic to poison ivy,*** I cannot identify it]."

* Never leave the chocolate croissant in the car. Never. You will regret it.

** What do you do with your TP? You can't leave it there, so yeah. You bring it back with you. No thanks. I spent two years in the Peace Corps and then ten weeks traveling back to the US over land, carrying my own TP everywhere I went. I am DONE with those days.

*** Oh yes I am. Because of that discovery, I also know that steroids make it impossible for me to sit still for more than a few minutes and that they also make my jeans tighter in two days.


Michaela said...

Hello. I could not read your post yesterday because I cannot deal with anything as yucky as cat trays. Did I ever mention the time we had a pet mouse go missing? I told my son he should pat the cat, as it was likely now '2 pets rolled into 1'. He replied that he would pat the dog, as he routinely ate out of the cat tray, and had by now likely eaten what remained of the mouse. I enjoyed THIS post CF but I am wondering what you are doing in SF? Luv the photos btw. Also, bummer about TWC, hey?

Michaela said...
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Teresa Morris said...

You were in SF last weekend? and I missed you? I has a sad.

Hope you had an awesome time, and I'm with you on the schlepping the TP thing. Yuck.

Staircase Witch said...

Say there are two hikes, a five-mile hike over pleasant, shady, rolling terrain with spectacular views and lots of birds and trees, or a ten-mile hike up a steep, switchbacky, blazing hot boulder-strewn mountainside. On which one do you think my husband will have his heart set? *sigh*.

After years of slogging along on 11-mile forced marches, I no longer feel compelled to always choose the Road Not Taken.

I've perfected the art of relieving myself in a sanitary way without TP up against a tree (it can be done), but next time we go backpacking I'm thinking about getting some of these: You can, supposedly, even write your name in the sand with surprising dexterity. I've always wanted to do that.

Class factotum said...

Michaela, I know it was gross. I am still grossed out. I don't blame you for not reading it. We were in SF because SH had to go there for work and because we wanted to see his stepdaughter's baby, our step-step grandson. He is adorable.

Teresa, the next time I go, I will have to arrange a blog meet. I would like to meet LPC, too.

Witch, we can put a man on the moon but we can't figure out an easy way for a woman to pee (and wipe) in the woods? Where are our priorities?