Monday, June 28, 2010

Wisconsin 101: Summer = construction

Youse guys. I am having a hard time concentrating, what with the tragedy of losing the Kate Spade purse and then with the four guys jackhammering our driveway into smithereens. They are distracting in a few ways:

1. It is noisy. Noisy, noisy, noisy. We warned our neighbors, but I still feel bad for them. Fortunately, they are almost through after only four hours. But four hours of jackhammering could seem like four days of Marty Haugen music, which, for those non-Catholics, is a form of torture that the US Council of Bishops has inflicted on us via the Gather hymnal. Haugen isn't even Catholic. He is Lutheran. But the Lutherans don't sing his drivel. They just laugh up their sleeves at us, snickering as they think of Martin Luther and how he was treated, even though Luther was right. Every organization needs some internal cleansing occasionally. The Lutherans sing beautiful John Wesley and Martin Luther hymns; we Catholics sing Kumbayah drivel.

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2. It is also distracting because do you know what jackhammering and lifting chunks of concrete does to the bare-shirted male physique? These guys don't have to go to the gym is all I am saying. Not that my SH isn't a total hottie - he is - but debugging microchip design software does not exercise the abs.

3. Laverne is in distress. Shirley is not, because she loves racket. The more noise, the better. If she could marry noise, she would. If we ever want to make her the happiest cat in the world, we will take her to the airport and onto the flight line so she can hear the planes taking off. Laverne, on the other hand, hates noise. She wants to hide but she wants to be safe with me so what to do? What to do? If she goes into the basement, she will be all alone and that's her most-hated thing. But if she stays with me, she has to hear the noise and noise is her second most-hated thing.

4. What do I do about lunch? I made lunch for the crew today because I had some sausage and cake I wanted to get rid of, but now it's gone. Do I give them the Good Meat and the Good (pretzel) Rolls tomorrow? Or tell them that lunch was a one-time thing and they are on their own? I don't want them leaving to take a long lunch - I want them here to finish the job tomorrow and Wednesday. I am thinking I pick up some hot dog buns and brats tomorrow and make a batch of brownies. The buns will be a letdown after the Good Rolls, but I don't think there is any such thing as a bad bratwurst in Wisconsin.

1 comment:

Maureen@IslandRoar said...

You're serving lunch?? I want to work for you! I think now you should do it tomorrow too; they'll love you forever and finish on time. Poor kitties.
But those are some nice abs...no offense to SH.
Okay, and now you've got me singing "kumbaya" in my head. Thanks.