Monday, July 12, 2010

Marriage 201, Lecture 543: Which leads to plumber's butt

As we are at the bank adding SH to the safe deposit box contract, an act he said was a waste of time because I should have waited until he was ready so we could just go together and get the box together ("A joint marital decision," he said) instead of my getting the box on my own FOUR MONTHS AGO and then returning to the bank to add him, to which I said BS because if I had waited until he was Ready to Go to the Bank, it would be 2015 and our house would have burned down in a fire along with the copies of his divorce decree and our passports, which means we would have had to pay the increased passport fees to replace them plus his ex-wife would have asked for more money and we wouldn't have been able to prove that SH had paid according to the decree.

Plus we would have had to pay $20 plus $3 for each additional copy of our marriage certificate, a document that United Airlines wants an original copy of to change my name on my frequent flier account but is not at all necessary to change any of my banking and investment information, ie, adding SH to my mutual funds.

SH: What do you mean you forgot the key [to the safe deposit box]?

Me: I forgot it.

SH: But don't you carry it on your keychain?

Me: No. Why would I do that?

SH: So you have it!

Me: Why would I carry a key I use twice a year?

SH: That's like saying why would I carry all my credit cards if I am only going to use them occasionally.

Me: No, it's not. It's pretty easy to plan when we're going to get something from the box.* When we need our passports - once a year, maybe - and that's it. If we lose the key, that's really bad. Better to keep it in the safe deposit file.

SH: I can't believe you don't have the key. This is so inefficient.

Me: Oh like you care about efficient processes. Besides, you're not the one who has to come back here to get the stuff out of the box [because he doesn't like that I put things in there without his approval and wants to examine them all because he is a CONTROL FREAK and it's not like I DIDN'T RUN MY OWN LIFE FOR 42 YEARS BEFORE I MET HIM]. So as long as it's not any extra work for you, why do you care?

SH: You're not doing it right.

* Plus the bank is only two blocks from our house so it's not like forgetting the key and having to go back home to get it is such a big deal.


Michaela said...

Whoa, the first sentence! ROFL You are more and more brilliant all the time. I dont have a SD. I have my Divorce paper, (re) Marriage paper, Birth Certs & Passports in a plastic display folder labelled REALLY IMPORTANT DOCUMENTS in a special purpose-built kitchen cupboard called the Nerve Centre, where I keep all my important stuff. Man, I should put the Title Deeds to the house in there too...I swear they are around here somewhere. Should also make a Will. Hey, twice of a 2-block walk is not so bad. DONT TELL ME YOU DROVE IT!?

Class factotum said...

Michaela, you don't have a will? Shame on you! Of course, it took me 18 months to get The Engineer to write one. I've had one for years because I am paranoid and always think of the worst-case scenario. I wanted him to have one because I worried that we might both die in a horrible car accident, which is not uncommon in Wisconsin because drunk driving is the state sport, and that without a will, the money would go to the next of kin, which includes his parents.

Not even over my dead body did I want that to happen. He has all the current earning power, but I brought the assets into this marriage. (Hint: get a mean lawyer when you divorce.)

We drove to the bank but only because we went there on Saturday on our way back from our tennis class. Yep. Sweaty and nasty, there in the bank. I went back today with the key after I dropped him off at the airport. Otherwise, I would have walked.


I am lazy.

Lindy said...

FYI, I just read that you should put the contents of your safe deposit box in plastic bags in case of water damage from a bank fire!?

P.S. I thought of you guys today when I went to the Menards Anniversary Sale ~ 1960-2010.

Class factotum said...

Lindy, what is the point of having the SD box if you have to plan for the bank's fire? I am getting stressed now. Except of course all the documents are at home so SH can decide which ones should go into the box. I said that we should decide in principle what goes there and then find those documents; he wants to look at every document and decide if it belongs.

SH will be sad that he missed the Menards party!