As we are at the bank adding SH to the safe deposit box contract, an act he said was a waste of time because I should have waited until he was ready so we could just go together and get the box together ("A joint marital decision," he said) instead of my getting the box on my own FOUR MONTHS AGO and then returning to the bank to add him, to which I said BS because if I had waited until he was Ready to Go to the Bank, it would be 2015 and our house would have burned down in a fire along with the copies of his divorce decree and our passports, which means we would have had to pay the increased passport fees to replace them plus his ex-wife would have asked for more money and we wouldn't have been able to prove that SH had paid according to the decree.
Plus we would have had to pay $20 plus $3 for each additional copy of our marriage certificate, a document that United Airlines wants an original copy of to change my name on my frequent flier account but is not at all necessary to change any of my banking and investment information, ie, adding SH to my mutual funds.
SH: What do you mean you forgot the key [to the safe deposit box]?
Me: I forgot it.
SH: But don't you carry it on your keychain?
Me: No. Why would I do that?
SH: So you have it!
Me: Why would I carry a key I use twice a year?
SH: That's like saying why would I carry all my credit cards if I am only going to use them occasionally.
Me: No, it's not. It's pretty easy to plan when we're going to get something from the box.* When we need our passports - once a year, maybe - and that's it. If we lose the key, that's really bad. Better to keep it in the safe deposit file.
SH: I can't believe you don't have the key. This is so inefficient.
Me: Oh like you care about efficient processes. Besides, you're not the one who has to come back here to get the stuff out of the box [because he doesn't like that I put things in there without his approval and wants to examine them all because he is a CONTROL FREAK and it's not like I DIDN'T RUN MY OWN LIFE FOR 42 YEARS BEFORE I MET HIM]. So as long as it's not any extra work for you, why do you care?
SH: You're not doing it right.
* Plus the bank is only two blocks from our house so it's not like forgetting the key and having to go back home to get it is such a big deal.