Thursday, August 19, 2010

What's what


So here's what's going on Chez CF.

1. Last night, I made the mistake of going to the store with SH, thinking it would just be a quick stop for on-sale steak at Sentry before we walked over to the free concert in the park - The Red Hot Chilli Pipers - who knew "Smoke on the Water" could sound good? It does when it's performed on bagpipes.

Anyhow.

We got a bunch of meat because that's how we roll now that we have our chest freezer in the basement, the one we got with the intention of buying a quarter beef, only now the freezer (9 sf, I think) is almost full of my uncle's venison brats and breakfast sausages and hamburgers and Pinter's llama chops and bacon and with raspberries and Miller's Pretzel Rolls from the bargain counter and there is no room for a cow's foot in there, much less a leg and a butt or whatever comes in a quarter.

Got meat? Check. Let's go to the concert.

But no! SH had a handful of coupons. We had to get cereal, but before we could get cereal, he had to read the ingredients label on each box to make sure there was no HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP, the root of all evil. Dehydrated apple juice, ie, sugar? OK. Concentrated grape juice, ie, sugar? OK. Beer? OK. Illegal substances in his past? OK.

But NO HFCS! Noooooo!

Then. I thought we were leaving. No! We had to go to the toothpaste aisle. Even though we have three big tubes and many airplane sized tubes of Colgate, which is what SH uses. I use sensitive teeth toothpaste because despite a lifetime of babying my teeth, paying to see the dentist out of my own unemployed pocket when I was in grad school just because I value my teeth so much, brushing and flossing during a stop at a Bolivian truck stop as I took the overnight bus from wherever to La Paz, my teeth have betrayed me in the worst way. One of them has been pulled and replaced by a titanium implant, which my insurance ended up covering after I wrote a detailed, fact-backed letter to the benefits people at work (you current IP employees may thank me now). Another needs a root canal, which I will have done next month at the dental college. Yeah. I'm cheap that way. But it leaves more money for purses and shoes.

It took me three long minutes to convince SH that he did not need any more toothpaste - honestly, how long does it take to use a large tube? like a year? - even though he had a coupon and it was double-coupon day. When we are old and retired, he is going to be dragging me to supper at 4:00 p.m. just so we can get the early-bird special. Which will be fine with me because I hate to stay up late.

2. We got an estimate to have the mortar repaired on our house. Two thousand dollars. We just had our driveway redone and the garage mudjacked. Trust me, you do not want to know what mudjacking is because if you do, that means your January vacation to Hawaii to escape the snow and ice and keep you sane is not going to happen.

The joys of home ownership. Still, it's better than renting and living underneath the Crazy Laundry People.

If anyone in the MKE knows someone who does mortar repair (and does it well), please leave me the info in the comments.

Of course the mortar guy showed up at 12:30, four hours early. Like I should have been surprised. This is Wisconsin. People here get up early.

3. I found out I am special. Top top percentile. Did you know that only two percent of the people who take lamictal (or its generic equivalent) watch their hair fall out in clumps?

Only nine percent of the folks who take depakote (or generic) lose their hair. And gain weight.

Now. What does a Venn diagram of the lamictal hair loss patients and the depakote hair loss/weight gain patients look like? (No, losing the hair does not make up for gaining the weight.)

Now factor in that neither drug has stopped my headaches. What does that diagram look like?

I am the one in the middle. In the "no therapeutic benefit but some nasty side effects" section. The bald, chubby one.

PS My doctor, who, admittedly, was checking her messages while she is on vacation, says that lamictal does not cause hair loss. The two pharmacists I called, however, said it does. AND MY HAIR IS FALLING OUT.

PPS One website suggests I weigh the disadvantages of losing my hair - right before my 25-year college reunion, when I want to look better than everyone else because let's be honest? we all think that way and if you say you don't, you're a pants on fire liar - against the advantages of the drug.

Yeah. Right. Hair loss vs headaches. Difficult decision. Bald vs headaches. Bald vs headaches.

I guess I'll have to think about that.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Try a wig for the reunion....you can be whatever you want to be...

Anonymous said...

Treximent for migraines. Miracle drug with no hair falling out side effects.

Class factotum said...

Anon, unfortunately, my problem is not with the migraine pain reliever but with the daily drug that is supposed to prevent them altogether.