Monday, October 18, 2010

Chats du jour: CSI

Is this the face of a killer?

Yes. Yes, it is.

It is also the face of a climb on anything that will grab onto cat hair and never let it go, e.g., a navy blue fleece jacket that had a hat on top of it to keep the cat off it but as you can see, the hat did not dissuade our determined shedder.

Laverne has progressed from baby rabbit and mouse killer to baby possum killer. Or, she has tried to become a baby possum killer.

You can see the photos here. They are a bit grisly, so if you are squeamish, don't say you weren't warned.

Of course I take photos of these things. I am a serious news person speaking truth to power. If it bleeds, it leads.

I am trying to figure out how this event happened. There are blood tracks all over the driveway. Actually, I am not sure if they are blood tracks. There is dark, thick residue on the driveway that looks like mud but is in the place where Laverne had the possum. Just how viscous is possum blood, anyhow? I went to The Google to find out, but all I got back was information about vicious possums, which I tend to doubt as isn't the possum strategy when attacked to play dead? That's pacifist, not vicious.

Yet there are those teeth. Those are not exactly herbivore teeth. Which is fine. I am all in favor of defending one's self. None of this, Oh, I'll let you beat me up instead of fighting back because I am the morally superior human being. Nope. I'd rather be tried by 12 than lowered by six, as they say. And we've already established where my morals are, as evidenced by the football ticket story. Now we are merely negotiating price, as it were.


We have here the crime scene. I think those are blood stains. As you are not here to walk out to my new $5,000 driveway with me and examine the stains for yourself, I have marked them with pink arrows, in honor breast cancer month. Why no, Delta flight attendant wearing the pink dress to promote breast cancer awareness, I had never heard of breast cancer before! Thank you for enlightening me! And Caribou Coffee, bless your hearts, no. I do not want to donate $5 for breast cancer on top of my $4.39 coffee purchase. Seriously. Do people fall for that? But I can draw pink arrows. Are you guys aware now? Then I have done my part. You're welcome.

It looks like the fight started in the upper left corner, then proceeded down the driveway, which looked perfect just two months ago and now has possum blood stains on it, which are not covered by our warranty. Why bother spending the money on something like this if it's just going to get ruined?

The possum gave up the fight at the bottom stain. That's where I found Laverne with her prize Wednesday night. The perp. Caught red-handed. Red pawed. The possum was playing dead. Probably exhausted. Lost lots of blood. Yet dragged itself up and away. No possum corpse in the back yard. That does not mean it survived - it might have died in someone else's back yard. Or right behind our garage where I have not looked too closely. I might find a possum skeleton in the spring.

1 comment:

Richard in NY said...

There is massive funding available for breast cancer research compared to say, liver, colon or lung cancer for the simple reason that nobody wants a marketing tie in with the others.