I switched this photo out from a previous post because it fits here better. Dead people vote. At least, they voted in Miami when I lived there. I hear they vote in Chicago as well. I have no doubt they vote in Milwaukee.
Much to my delight, the city clerk called me yesterday to ask if I would work at the polls next Tuesday.
SH informed me that I can't tell people how to vote.
But if someone arrives at the polls without knowing how he's voting, I would tell him not to bother. We have enough people making bad decisions.
I have been on the list for two years, y'all. Two years. That's what kind of neighborhood I live in: a bunch of bossy, involved people. It took two years for me to get to the top of the list.
I tried to volunteer when I lived in Memphis, too, but it also was a long list and I was of the wrong political persuasion when a spot opened. I don't want to get into any political arguments/discussions on this blog, mostly because I get enough of that with SH and also because I don't feel like doing all the research and citing necessary to have a valid exchange of ideas on a public forum, so I won't give you the party specifics. Readers of all opinions and views are welcome here, though. I am nothing if not tolerant of diversity, although I reserve the right to think some ideas are just too dumb to live.
How did I get knocked out in Memphis? Tennessee has open primaries. I had voted in the Polka Dot Party's primary, even though I intended to vote for the Stripe Party candidate in the general election. I voted in the PD primary because they had seven or eight candidates running and most of them were beyond horrible and would have been horrible for the area. It was pretty much a given that the Polka Dots would win the general election, so I wanted to be sure that the least awful candidate was the one they ran.
But when a spot opened at my polling place, my friend Gayle, who was the head polling place lady, told me I couldn't have it because they needed a Striper in that seat.
"But Gayle!" I protested. "You know I am far more striped than I am polka dot!"
"You voted in the Polka Dot primary," she answered.
"Yeah, but you know why I did that!"
She was apologetic but said that the Rules were the Rules.
I don't know if the seats go by affiliation in Wisconsin. I voted in the primary last month, but I have never registered with a party. I am mostly a GDI, I suppose.
It will be an easy job. In Wisconsin, voters can register on the day of the election. They don't have to show proof of citizenship. They don't even have to show ID. [EDIT: Yes, they do have to show ID to register and they also have to affirm they are US citizens.] And they certainly don't have to show ID to vote. Nope. All I have to do is cross names off a list - the name the voter claims is hers - and hand out ballots. Piece of cake.
What I will report on is what people wear to the polls and how informed people seem to be. Watch this space.