1. It takes more than a couple of weeks of occasional wearing around the house to break in a pair of orange Sperry topsiders from zappos.com. (Yes, I am all about color in my shoes these days. I am tired of looking drab. Plus now that I am a brunette - Clairol #24 Clove - instead of a fading, graying blonde, I can wear all sorts of things I never did before.)
2. Even if you wear the topsiders to walk to the Mexican restaurant a mile away and then have to walk home barefoot because blisters formed as you were eating your posole and your puerco adobo, the shoes will not be broken in yet.
3. As you will discover three weeks later when you walk the mile to the brew pub in your neighborhood where you and your SH want to use the $10 coupon from the CityTins your friend Claire gave you before it expires. Walking to the restaurant is not such a problem, although maybe topsiders were just never meant for distance walking as that sidewalk seems to hurt more and more. But it's on the walk home that you realize that you now have blisters on the top of your toes.
4. Which is why when you and your SH decide to take advantage of a lovely Indian summer October Saturday the next day to walk to the farmers market, where you will buy cheese you don't need because you already have a cheese drawer in both the fridge and the freezer but sampling is always the death of you, you think, Hey! I'll wear my new red Doc Martens, which are built for comfort.
5. And then you discover that Doc Martens really need to be broken in, as they cause blisters on the heel. Which is why you walk the mile home from the farmers market barefoot.
6. And now you have seven blisters on your feet, which complement the dime-sized blister on your right palm that you got Friday afternoon from planting tulip bulbs. Which means you almost have a set of blister stigmata.